My Kids

It is the weirdest thing. When I have the kids with me all of the time I just wish for time to do stuff by myself. Then the past two days I have been able to do just that and all I can think about is how much I miss my kids. They are at my parents house and they will be there until tomorrow morning. Levi left this morning at 6am and will not be back until tonight so I have had all day to myself. I cannot lie, it has been very nice. I have gotten a lot done, had a lot of me time, and a lot of much needed quite. On the other hand I really miss those kids. It makes me realize that they really are what my life is about and what gives my life meaning. I am so glad to have them and I will be very glad to get them back tomorrow. But for now they are totally happy and well cared for ( probably too well cared for) and I have a few more hours until Levi gets back so I am going to enjoy the peace and quite while it lasts.

Life

It has been a good week. We have gotten back into the swing of things. We had some friends stay the weekend with us and that was a lot of fun. We have decided to homeschool for sure this year and we have officially moved on to the next step of our adoption. It is the part where we have to just gather together a lot of paperwork so that is what we are working on right now. I feel good about the decisions we have made lately and God has really given me and my husband peace with what we are doing. It feels like a lot of changes at once but I think that it is all for a reason.

My parents are taking the kids tonight and tomarrow and my husband and I are really looking forward to some time together. It is weird because we wait for this to happen and then we always go totally blank when it comes to figuring out what to do. I guess it does not really matter what we do as long as we are togther.

We are enjoying our last bit of summer and I am going to be spending this time getting ready to homeschool and figuring out exactly how I am going to do it. I pray that the Lord gives me direction and that I can figure it all out. It is a new adventure and I am excited to see what happens.

One of my favorite things right now is listening to my girl sing. She puts her whole self into it and means it with her whole heart. She is a joy to have in this family.

This is scattered and random but that is kind of what my life is like.

Grace

I figure that if I talk about this book enough everybody will decide to read it. It is the one called Grace Based Parenting and I am getting so much out of it. It is really easy to read and you just learn so much. This morning I was reading about how we are not supposed to shield our kids from everything and make it so that they live in a "safe Chrisitan environment" and never let them learn from things in this world. He is saying that we need to teach them to trust in God in those situations and to learn how to do that. He was also saying that if he shild them and try to keep everything from them and act like the world is a really scary place we are teaching them that God cannot handle it and that He is not to be trusted. I thought it was really profound. He was also saying that we need to accept that our kids are fragile, that the world is a sinful place, that Saten is out to ruin us but that God had the first word and He will have the last word. He is mighty and our kids need to know that.

Levi and I are also really enjoying this show that we discovered on the itunes thing where we can buy episodes and watch them on the computer. It is called 30 days and it is by the guy that did the show Super size me. He takes topics and then has a person go and live in that situation for 30 days to see what it is really like. As an example. There was a minuteman (the guys that help watch the borders between us and Mexico and report anyone that they see coming across) and they had him go and stay with a family in East L.A. who are here illegally. It was a family of 7 living in less than 500 sq. ft. and he lived with them for 30 days. It was so interesting. To watch his feelings and opionions change when his world view was opened up and broadened. It made me realize how important it is for us and our kids to have a real world view and not just what is going on here in America.

My project right now is that it looks like we will not be able to get my son in the school that we want to this year so I think I will be homeschooling him this year. I am doing a lot of research and figuring out how I want to do it. We will see what we will do after I do some more looking around and see what fits our family the best.

It's Nice To Be Home

Well, we made it home safe and sound. It was a long day of traveling but we made it all ok.

We left at 10am and drove for about 4 hours
Got to the airport and our plane left at 3:30
We were supposed to have a 2 hour lay over and it turned into a 3 hour one
Then second flight we sat on the runway for a really long time
Finally landed in Sacramento at about 10pm
After getting our luggage and home it was after 11pm before us and the kids were in bed.

The kids did really well through the whole thing. Not really any break downs but they were pretty tired today.

After we got in the car we noticed a horrible smell and discovered that one of the car seats and my bag had some kind of really nasty liquid on them. I do not know what it was but that was not a very nice surprise. We cleaned it all up today and everything is just fine.

I thought I would share some pictures from our trip

We went to a waterslide park that was really great for the kids. We all had a really good time.






We spent one day at the Glacier National Park. Look at how clear that water is! It was the most beautiful lake any of us had ever seen. We were not prepared to swim but all of my family decided that the water was just to nice to not swim so they striped down to their underwear and jumped in. Just as I was getting up the guts to join them it got pretty windy and was not warm enough any more. O well maybe next time. We also got to see a mama bear and her two cubs. That was very cool. We went on a short hike that was also beautiful. We had a great time as a family and being outside.





On our last day there we went to Whitefish lake and spent the day on the beach and swimming. The kids had a ball and as you all know by now I love to swim so we were all happy. The weather was perfect in Montana and we took full advantage of it and spent most of our time outside.




When we were not spending our time outside in the water and sun we were at the house playing many, many different games. Dress up was one and building forts was as a big one. The kids got along really well and built some life time memories with their cusins. My girl kept calling this cusin her friend and after awhile she told me she was her sister. My son also had a grand time building things, creating things, and just acting like any kid should.

I am glad to be back but I am also glad we went. It is so important for the kids to make these memories. I have such great ones from when I was little and I want them to have that also. There is nothing quite like a cusin.

Montana

We have been on vacation for the last few days visiting my husbands sister and her family. We are having a great time. The kids are playing really good and we have done a lot of things. We went to a water slide park that was really fun. Both of the kids went down the slides and just had a great time. Yesterday we went to Glacier National Park and swam in a beautiful lake and went on a short hike. We also saw a mama bear and her two cubs and a few different deer. Today we went to an art show and now the kids are playing in the back yard on a slip and slide. It has been good so far. It is amazing how much easier it is to travel as the kids get older. This is the easiest so far. Well, I don't want to take to much time right now but I will post some pictures when we get home.

THE NEWS

We have some big news to share. Lately we feel like God is showing us that our family is not done growing. We had both felt like maybe we were done and that two kids was enough. But then we had a change of heart. I think God changed our hearts. My husband and I started talking about it and just could not get over the feeling that we were not done growing as a family. Then as we talked about it more we discovered that neither one of us felt like we wanted to have another baby naturally, ( as in birthing a baby). So we started talking about adoption and what that could mean for our family. As we talked, prayed, and researched we felt more and more like it was right for us.

( A little background) I have wanted to adopt before I even had kids. Actually before I was even married. I used to go to an orphanage in Mexico for the summers when I was in high school. Even then I would think about how neat it would be to adopt and take care of one of those wonderful children. Then I went to India a year after I graduated from high school. While we were there we went to this village to play with the kids and just kind of hang out. This girl that was about 8 or 9 years old came up to me with what I think was her sister and asked me to take the baby with me. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby home to my home. Even now it makes me so sad. I really, really wanted to take that baby. I was not even married or ready to have kids but I just wanted to take care of her. So, ever since then I have really wanted to adopt. I kind of feel like it is a calling that God has put on my life.

Back to the story.
God then blessed me with a huband that is totally open to adoption. He blessed me with two of my own wonderful kids and I am so glad that I got to experience carrying my kids in my belly and feeding them and having a newborn. I would not trade any of that for the world. But now I feel ready to accept another child into our family another way.

We have just sent in our application to the agency and we have decided on Guatemala. My husband and I love the Latin American culture and we as a family have been working on learning more spanish. We felt like it was a culture that we could intergrate into our family and that is important to us. We do not know how old the child will be. It could be anywhere from 6months old to about a year. It is a pretty long process and we have just barley started. We have talked to our son about it and he is excited about it. He is actually the one that was saying that we needed more kids in our family. He said to me the other night " I don't care how many kids we have or how old they are or if they are a boy or girl" I felt like that was such a blessing from God that he would be so open to whatever happens.

So, I will update on here whenever things change and as we progess in the process. It may be a long and emotional journey so I think it will be good for me to share what we are going through. The Lord is so good and He will make it all happen in His timing.

God is good

I need to give an update after that last depressing entry. I am feeling much better and I think it was just a little break down but God still cares about those things. This morning my friend, Vanessa came by with muffins in the morning and we had coffee and muffins and a little bit of conversation. Then I took my daughter to this singing time at the library and joined another friend there. The kids played and sang and then they invited us over for lunch. It just made my day. I realized that I do have friends and that it is normal to somedays feel lonely but I guess I just needed a reminder. I then went to this skin lady for an appointment that I had today and she put this mask/peel on me that made my face orange for 6 hours. I am talking bright orange. Let me just tell you that my kids had a good laugh when I got home looking like that. So, now I am off to bed feeling much better and ready to face another day. I am always amazed at how much God cares about all of our little things. What a good God we serve.

Only the Lonely

I am usually a pretty upbeat person. It takes a lot to get me down. It is just in my nature to let things rool off my back. I don't get worked up or sad very often. Movies make my husband cry more than me. I am just not much of a cryer. It is not that I do not care about stuff, it just has to get pretty bad for me to actually cry. I usually get mad before I get sad.

Is it possible to be lonely when you have friends? I have a lot of friends and I have my kids and my husband but lately I have been feeling very lonely. I need a certain amount of social interaction and it seems like it has been really hard to get that lately. It is not that I have not tried. About every other day I call someone or two to see if they want to come over or go somewhere with the kids or something, ANYTHING. I have always wanted to be one those houses where friends stopped by to say hi, have a cup of coffee, talk a little and then go on our way. No big set up, no planning, just a little conversation and a little contact with another adult. The other day one girl did do this and it made me very happy. I hope that it happens again.

I have thought about doing a regular play date weekly but I feel like that is so planned and something that people feel like they have to go to because they said yes once and now they are stuck. I guess I want it to be more spontaneous than that. But it also seems like moms are not home much anymore. If you do get the guts to stop by they will most likely be out. Not that I am not out a lot but that is because I can only stay at home alone with my kids for so long. They want to play with other kids sometimes and I need to have a little interaction, even if it is just with the coffee shop worker or something.

This seems so petty and not like a big deal in the whole picture but it has me really down. So, down that I actually cried. I just got to wondering. Is it something with me that people are not comfortable being around me, do they not feel comfortable in my house, or is it just that everyone I know already has their " friends" and does not need anymore?

How do you get this type of friendship? I do not feel comfortable just stopping by most peoples houses because it does not seem like everyone likes that and unless they say that they do it is kind of intrusive. Devon's house is the exception. I always feel like it is just fine if I stop by there. Thanks, Devon. I get tired of having to plan a party in order to have people at my house. I actually had a friendship party here after we moved so that everyone would know where we live and maybe stop by in the future. Nothing came of that. I am one of those people that can talk to someone in the afternoon and invite them over for dinner that night. I like it like that.

So, this is a bit rambling and I am not writing this to get friends or anything. I am just wondering if I am the only one that deals with this or if maybe it is just something with having little kids. The heat is also giving me cabin fever because it is just too hot to go outside. I am going to take my daughter to the public pool right now, maybe I will be able to talk to one of the moms there and get my social fix.

I do not know how many more times I can stand to be turned down, not called, or just ignored. I know I am being a little dramatic. This to will pass.

Follow Up

Well, my son came home yesterday with a big smile on his face. He had made some friends and felt much more comfortable. He actually told me that he did not need me to stay with him anymore. It makes me happy for him but kind of sad that I am not needed. This week is a circus theme and at the end of the week they are all going to put on a circus that the parents get to go to.

On the other side my 2 year old daughter said that she is big enough to go to school. It is sad when I tell her that she has to be bigger and she says, " I am bigger" in her little voice. She is just in love with her brother and is kind of sad that he is gone during the day. She points to him and says " my brother" It is just to sweet.

We are still really hot here so we spend a lot of the day in the house. It is just to hot to be outside unless you are in the water. We are going to Montana next week and I am looking forward to a little cooler weather.

My brain is kind of fried from to much sun. I need to cut this short.

Summer Camp

Today was my sons first day of summer camp. We signed him up for a week of it at the school that we are trying to get him into. We are hoping to hear soon if he will be able to go there next year or not. I thought that if he does the summer camp would be a good way to transition into the school, he could meet some kids, and he would be more familiar with the setting.

So, this morning we took him and he wanted me to wait for awhile until he felt comfortable. He got a little teary eyed a couple of times when he was not sure what was going on but he always pulled himself together and pressed on. I watched while he got a partner and started the task that the teacher asked them to do. At first he was not sure and I could tell he was a bit stressed. Then he started getting more comfortable and was smiling and laughing. It made me so happy. I know how hard it is to go into a situation where you do not know anybody and try to make it on your own. He did really well. After about 15 min. I asked him if it was ok for me to leave. He said yes with a big smile on his face.

It is almost time to pick him up and I am looking forward to hear how his day went. My little boy is really growing up.

THIS IS RANCH DRESSING

The Mother of All Iced Teas

I love iced tea. When I was in high school we went to this place called Taco Tree. It has the best nachos and what we called the mother of all iced teas because it is a huge cup. Some of my best memories are going there with friends and then when I met my husband I took him there. It is the little test to see if he would like it or not. Good thing he loves it as much as me. Now my kids love it also. It feels good to know that I am passing down the love of Taco Tree.

It has been really hot all week and they say it is not going to get better any time soon. The best thing on a hot day to me is to sit inside with the a/c on, watch a good movie and drink lots and lots of iced tea. Now that I have kids it seems to be a lot harder to do all that but I at least still can have the iced tea.

This summer has been really crazy. It seems like there is just always a lot going on. My son has been taking swimming lessons and he is really swimming now. I cannot believe it! Swimming is one of my favorite things to do so I am so happy that he will be able to be confident in the water. That is one of my main goals as a mother is to have kids that love the water and are comfortable in the water.

With July wrapping up here soon we are all looking forward to August. The first week we are going to go to Montana to visit my husbands sister and her husband and three kids. That is going to be a lot of fun. We will come back for about a week and a half and then we are going to go up to Tahoe for a week. I am really looking forward to some family time and enjoying the last of summer before we get back to school and the daily life stuff.



On a side note:

How did we end up with two of the loudest kids in the world? They think that they need to literally yell at all times to be heard.

Why must my daughter do everything by herself? That takes a lot of patience.

Why does my son have to give me the play by play of everything he has ever seen in his entire life? I kind of zone out and make the right sounds so that he thinks that I am listening but I can only listen to the " funny thing that happened on Tom and Jerry " so many times before I go crazy

Why is it that even when they are making me feel like I just might loose my mind that they melt my heart by that one little look or kiss or hug and I am ready to do it all over again the next day?

I think this is really great

www.shapeofamother.blogspot.com

The King and Queen

The other half

So, this is what happened to the rest of the shower door while it was being taken out of the house. Glass, glass everywhere we turn there is broken glass!

SCARY

We had a big scare last night. My girl was in the shower in our bathroom that has glass doors. Levi was up there with her when I heard a big crash and then a lot of crying. I ran upstairs to see the shower door shattered and my girl bleeding. Levi had her and was already washing off the cuts to see how bad they were. We were very blessed and they are all very minor cuts but she was pretty scared. We got her cleaned up, bandaged, and dressed. She just kept saying, " I getting out, and I got big hurt". I felt so bad for her. That was the weirdest thing. We do not know how it happened but we are all thankful that she is just fine.

My First

OK , so it has been awhile since I had my first born but I was not blogging then so I thought I would write his story. I have been thinking a lot about my birthing experiences since deciding that I will be a doula for a friends birth. So here is my first experience.

December 10, 2000

I am not due until January 1st but I wake up to what I think might be my water breaking. There was not a lot of water so I was not sure. Then the contractions started being pretty regular but kind of far apart. We call the mid-wife and family so that my sister and mom could get ready to come to our house. I called my parents and told them that my water had broken. They told my dad and he thought we were talking about our water pipes. Non of us were expecting a baby so soon.

So everyone gets there and things are moving along very nicely. I had some food, drank a lot of water, and then went for a walk. That is when things started to get more serious. We were going to walk around the block. About half way around this cute old lady asks Levi if he could tie her shoe for her. She had no idea that I was in labor. So he did and it made us laugh the rest of the was home because it was just so random.

Once in the house I really wanted to get in the water because that is where I planned to have the baby. We had a blow up kid pool with high sides to birth in. The midwife said that we needed to wait a little longer so I go into the shower. That felt pretty good. Once I could not stand up in there any longer they let me get into the pool. That felt wonderful. It really made a big difference.

It was about 1pm when I got in the water. I labored in there until just before 5pm when it was time to push. That was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. I always thought that I would be more in control and decide when I was going to push but my body just took over and pushed that baby out.

Our BOY!! 7lbs 5 oz. and a very coned shaped head. I got to hold him in the water for a little while and Levi cut the cord. Then they took him out to check him and I got out and into the bed. He was not breathing like they wanted him to so they used some of their oxygen but then they were running out. The only way to describe how he sounded was that he was grunting. So, by the midwifes recomendation they took him to the hospital. My mom went with Levi and the midwife and I stayed at home with my sister. I was so worn out that I did not really realize how scary it was. My dad came down and him and my sister stayed with me through the night.
Levi had called and said that he was just fine but they wanted to keep him for a little longer.


Early the next morning we all went to the hospital and I cried when I saw him. They had hooked him up to an IV in his head for antibiotics " just to be safe" and that is why they wanted to keep him to finish the antibiotics. All of his tests came back good and he was eating good but it was hard to really feed him because he was in the ICU and we did not have a room. So he stayed one more night and then we decided to take him home. It was against the doctors orders but only because they wanted to finish the antibiotics.


So, finally we were home. Just the three of us and I was so happy. Our boy did really good. At all of his check-ups he was really thriving. He ate well, and slept good. It was not exactly how I had imagined it but I also did not think I would have my first baby three weeks early.

We really enjoyed bonding and just all of us being together. He was not the easiest baby but we were also just learning how to do this whole new thing. He put up with a lot of trial and error on our part. He is a real trouper.

Today

So, I went to the dentist and good news is there are no cavities and things look pretty good. The bad news is that I have to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I know that everyone else has already had this done years ago but I have been putting it off. I was always too busy with work and school before I got married and then I was too busy having babies and all that goes along with that. So, now is the time. You know you really are a mom when the dentist says that you will need to rest for a couple of days after and have someone take care you you and you think " maybe getting my teeth pulled is a good idea, when is the soonest I can get this done?"

Random Thoughts

Italy won!!!

We had a world cup/birthday party today. It was a lot of fun. Italy won so that was good and we had a lot of fun with our friends.



Our son came home today after camping for four days with his grandparents. He had so much fun. He has been talking non-stop since he got home. It is good to have him back.



I am having a major PMS time so everything seems a bit overwelming but I know that in a couple of days everything will go back to normal.


I have a dentist appointment in the morning for a cleaning. I really hate going to the dentist.


The kids swim lessons also start tomarrow. They are looking forward to that.


I am reading the best parenting book ever written ( in my opionion) called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel

I also just found out from some friends about a web site called www.etsy.com that sells different home made stuff that people from all over make and I think it is my new favorite web site. There is a bunch of really cool stuff.

I am over tired and need to get some rest. It is hard to get a complete sentence out.

4TH OF JULY

I love this holiday. It has always been one of my favorites. When I was a kid I think I got sick about 3 or 4 years in a row on the 4th of July. I was just so excited or somthing that my body would break down and get sick. So this year was a real treat to me. I got to go to the little parade called the Dutch Flat parade that I have been going to for as long as I can remember. It is such a small town and the parade is really little, so little in fact that it goes around twice. Nothing like true small town America to celebrate the 4th. My son even got to ride in the police car the second time around. He loved that! When I was a kid I was a clown one year. I got all dressed up and I was so excited. Yep, that was one of the years that I got sick. I was one unhappy clown.















Then we went to my parents house for a BBQ. Some of my family was there and it was just a very relaxed, layed back afternoon. The food was really good, the kids played, and we just sat around and talked. Very nice.











Then we left there and were off to another BBQ ( the all American thing to do) at our friends house. Where once again our kids ran around and had a great time and we got to visit with some new people. We always like meeting new people so that was fun for us. We had more good food and totally stuffed ourselves. They really threw a great party and we were sad to leave but we had one more stop to make.








We had to end up at the fireworks. We were debating it because of the kids but I just could not pass it up. I love fireworks and experiencing them with my kids is so much fun. We went down by the river and we could see them really good. The kids loved them and we could officially call it a day. It had been long but one that we will remember. Lots of fun, friend, family and food. What more could you ask for?

Family Camp

I am a bit behind but last weekend we went to family camp with our church. We camped on Lake Tahoe and it was a lot of fun. We shared the food and kind of combined our camps with two other families. It was really nice to have other people to cook with and clean up with. The kids had an absolute blast. They played so much. There were these really little frogs all over the bathrooms and the boys spent a good part of their days catching frogs. We spent the days on the beach just swimming and digging in the sand. My girl got so tired that she actually fell asleep on the beach. We came home so tired that I thought I would never be able to move again. I think that it will get to be even more fun to camp with the kids when they are a little older. The 5 am wake up from the girl is what made it a bit hard. All in all it was a fun trip and I am glad we did it. We also got to know more people from the church. On the last morning we had so much food and we did not want to take it home so we decided to just cook it all. We rounded up about 4 or 5 guys that we willing to eat. The really cool thing was that they actually did the dishes! High Five for the guys!

The Hunt

I hate shopping for a swimsuit. I absolutly hate it. This year pretty early on I found one at Target that was cute, it fit me, and it was not to expensive. Then when my stuff got taken out of the car in Santa Cruz, there went my bathing suit. So I decided to really splurg and order a bathing suit from speedo online. I was sure that it would be here before our camping trip tomarrow. So, I waited until the last minute. No bathing suit. So by the time I got to run to the mall it was 8pm. The mall closes at 9pm. I had 45min to find a bathing suit that looked good on me (with my post baby body). I ran in, tried on 3 suits and took one home. It is completly boring, all black, but it fits and I am ready for a weekend at the lake camping and swimming. I might hate shopping for a swimsuit but I LOVE to swim!!

Kickball Party!!

Last night we celebrated Levi's 25th birthday by having a kickball game. We started out the day though on the river. The kids were at my parents and so we took the canoe out and went down the river. Everthing was going really good and then we decided to take a detour. Well, it led us to this.






We ended up having the best time. It was an adventure and so beautiful. We swam a little and ate lunch and then ended where we had parked the truck. It was a very nice way to spend our day.

Then we got the last stuff together for the party and went to the park to set up.






Then we played some kickball!!!









It was a blast. I was so happy that so many of our friends and family were able to make it. Everyone was really into playing and we had a fun time all together. Levi felt really loved and he said that it was the best birthday party ever. It was one of the easiest parties I have ever put togther but also the most fun and relaxing.

I am glad it all turned out. Levi is such a great husband and he does so much for me that I really wanted him to know that I love him and that a lot of other people really care about him also. He is always thinking about what he can do for other people and taking care of me and the kids. I am happy he got to have a day that was all about him. And the fact that everyone took the time to come, play, hang out, and share that day with us meant a lot.



Happy 25th Birthday

It's Hot and Not Getting Any Cooler

I cannot believe how hot it is. It is like summer started officially and decided to just burn us up. It has been so hard with the kids and the heat. I feel like I should take them somewhere to cool off so we go to a pool or like today we went to this place that had a man made waterfall and creek that they could play in. They had a lot of fun but by the time we get home I am so tired I can't even move. Then we are just kind of stuck inside. It is too hot to really enjoy doing anything outside. We are blessed with a/c so I should not be complaining at all. It is like the heat just sucks all of your energy out. Thankfully Levi is home now and we can all spend the weekend together. Me and the kids really miss him when he is gone. It is not supposed to get any cooler so I guess we will just have to spend the weekend in the water. Not that I mind all that much. I never thought I would do a whole blog on the weather but it is STINKIN HOT!!!!

Quotes

A couple that I like:


Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.

-Dr. Seuss



Somewhere, somthing incredible is waiting to be known.

- Carl Sagan

Life with kids

It is Thursday and I am sitting here just waiting for my daughter to take a nap. My husband has been gone all week and will not be back until tomarrow. I really need her to take a nap. Why is it that the days that you really need them to sleep they just don't and the days that it is no big deal they take a 2 or 3 hour nap. I just might loose it if she does not sleep.

It is hot here this week. In the 100's and it is hard to find stuff to do with the kids that we don't just melt doing. We went to a singing class at the library today and yesterday we went to the pool. My oldest is out of school for the summer so I have to find stuff that we can all do together.

I am also in the middle of planning a birthday party for my husband. It is on Sunday and we are playing kickball. I hope it does not end up being to hot. This is the first time I have put on a party where the men coming to the party are actually excited.

So, not a lot to write about and my brain cells are pretty much fried from taking care of the kids 24 hours a day for a week. But I thought I would share a little story.

Last night my husband did come home for the night. He got here late and left kind of early but at least he was here for a little bit and I did not have to sleep in an empty bed. Anyway, when he woke up this morning he could not find either of his pillows. That's right they were just gone. He looked all over with no memory of taking them anywere are anything. He finally found them in the washing machine. He must have put them there in his sleep. Am I married to a crazy man?

The Lord Is Good

I am sitting in bed tonight totally exhausted. Levi is in San Francisico at a conference for the week and that means its just me and the kids. We just got back from spending the night at my parents. We had a really nice time there and it was nice to have so much help. I always get to rest more there and there are more hands to get the kids the million and one things they always need. The kids are both in bed now so it is time for me to do what ever I want until I crash and fall asleep.

Yesterday I got a phone call from a girl that wants me to be her doula, which is a birthing assistent, and I think I am going to do it. Before I had my second child I had taken a class to be a dula and read some books. Then I got pregnent and just got busy and never finished the classes to become, certified. Then I get this call out of nowhere and she wants me to do it for her. I told her that I have not been officially trained but that I would love to do it if she still wanted me to. This is her second child so she is pretty comforable with the whole process but wants someone there that is not family that will help her. I am such a stong believer that giving birth should and can be a really great experience. It is really so natural and what our bodies are made to do. I think we tend to get in the way and not let our bodies do what is so instictive. I know that there can be complications and I think that it is really great to have a doctor there when you really need one but most of the time our bodies would do just what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it. So, anyway, I will get off of my soapbox now. I am just really excited about this opportunity. I am going to need to do a little refresher reading and then I will meet with the woman and her husband and write up a birth plan. That way I know what they do and do not want and all of that kind of stuff.

I was discouraged a couple of days ago and really feeling like I did not have anything that was mine to identifiy with and I feel like God brought this along to encourage me. It is something that I have always been interested in and this way I can see if it is somthing I really like and if so I could look into it more and maybe finish my classes.

I had both of my kids at home with a midwife in the water and it was wonderful. Maybe I will talk about that more sometime but that is a long story. I have also been there when one on my friends had her baby at home in the water. What I have not seen is a hospital birth personally. I am looking forward to the new experience and something that I can really throw myself into that is different than my every day life. The Lord is really good and He really cares for each one of us individually.

Update

I wanted to show you the things that have changed in our lives or that we have gotten. First is our garden. It is completly out of control. I posted when we first planted stuff and it looked like this







And now it looks like this





I cannot believe how much it has grown. We are really hoping that it will actually produce but only time will tell.




Then I got my hair cut. No big deal really but it is quite a bit shorter. I am really liking it now that it is so hot here.








And one more thing. Levi got a scooter and I thought I would share that to. It is really fun to drive. I have only taken it to the library once but that was fun. He uses it for work when he is driving around in the city which is most of the time. It is a huge gas saver, and also just fun.






So that is just a little peak into the new things in our lives right now. Nothing ground breaking but it is our life.

Sometimes It's Just Hard

I can tend to make things always seem better than they are. I have a hard time telling other people that I am having a hard time. On the other hand I know that it is good to get it out and to talk about it. Last night I had a little break down. I am just having a hard time feeling like there is not anything that I am doing that is making a difference. I finally had the school that I was working on and then that is not happening anymore. I feel like everything my husband sets out to do he does and is very successfull at. I want to be happy for him but it gets kind of old always hearing how amazing he is and how incredible it is that he is doing so good at his work. Then I tell myself that I have the kids and I am working really hard on them but on the other side I am always hearing how great it is that Levi is with the kids so much and he is so good with them. Nobody means it this way but it feels like a slap in the face. Sometimes I am totally content with where I am and what I am doing. But then other times I feel like everyone I know is working at or on some type of goal. I am not really sure where I am going with this but to say that it has been a hard couple of days and I am a bit down. I would be lying if I said I was not dissapointed about the school. It was a fun project that I really felt like I was making a difference with. I guess I should just be praying that God would bring me something else that would fill that void. I am going to try to make that my personal focus now.

On a different note, I read in a magazine to fill a pitcher with water and cut up a whole orange and split a vanilla bean in half and put all of that in the water. Then you let it sit in the fridge for a day or so and then it tastes so yummy. It tasts like a creamcsicle ( one of those orange popsicles with ice cream in the middle. I want to drink it all day. You really should try it.

Birthday Trip to the Beach

This weekend we went to a place called Costanoa and it was wonderful. It is between Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz. We stayed in their tent cabins that were just so cute. Levi said they were very romatic and since it was for his birthday I think I picked a good place. He is going to be 25 in a couple of weeks so we thought we would start the celebrations early. My parents kept the kids and we had a very restfull weekend togther. We had a picnic on the beach both days. There were hikes all over the place we stayed and of course we ate very well. I love that after all these years with my husband we still really enjoy being together. He is one of a kind. We also went into Santa Cruz and looked around and saw the movie Mission Impossible 3. It was actually a pretty good movie. We read a lot and spent a lot of time having conversations that were not interupted by our kids. So, thank you mom and dad for taking the kids and giving us a great weekend. And thank you Levi for marrying me so that we can spend many more birthdays togther.

My Own Stars Hollow

I have always wanted to live in a town like Stars Hollow on The Gilmore Girls. It is small and they can walk to everything they need. The coffee shop/diner, the bookstore, the theater. I like that they run into people that they know. It has always been a dream of mine. I even looked up Stars Hollow to see if there was a place really like that with the thought that maybe we could move there. My husband and I have really felt like Sacramento is where we are supposed to be. We really figured that out about two years ago and since then I have not really thought alot about the small town thing. Then the other day I thought about it again and I realized that I live in my own version of Stars Hallow. It is not a small town but I think Sacramento has that feel. I can walk to almost anything I need and I run into people I know sometimes. It just made me smile because it made me realize that God cares so much about us. He even cares about our little dreams and either gives us peace about where we are or like for me makes Sacrmento look like Stars Hollow in my eyes.

Stupid Three Mile and the Ones That Got Away

It has been a really long weekend. I decided to go to Santa Cruz with my friend Vanessa to visit our friend, Joanna. We left Saturday afternoon, had a nice ride there and arrived at Joanna's house ready to have a nice relaxing weekend at the ocean. We pretty much just went into her house to say hello, get a little tour, and then back in the car to drive to the beach. We park our car at Three Mile along hwy. 1 with about 6 other cars and head down to the beach. As we are running around on the beach little do we know that some " really mean people" are up at our car making off with all of our stuff. Yes, that's right, they broke the window of Vanessa's car and took ALL of our stuff! They got all three of our purses, my overnight bag with EVERYTHING that I had brought on the trip. A couple of other bags and two cell phones. The one amazing thing was that Vanessa had her work lap top in the back of the car in a bag and they did not take that. That was a miricle. Talk about complete shock as we walk back from the beach and see the window broken and then start realizing all that was in there. So, here are three girls in Santa Cruz with no money, no way to get money, no IDs, one cell phone and a car full of broken glass.

So, we drive to Joanna's house and start calling all of the credit card companys and all of that. They had already used Joanna's credit card to buy gas. Thanks to Joanna's dad ( who had left her some emergency cash we were able to get by and have a great weekend anyway). We decided that we did not want to ruin our time so after we did what needed to be done we headed out to a great dinner.

The next morning Joanna had to work so she went to work and we went out to breakfast. Let me tell you, that was the most amazing food I think I have ever had. We went to Cafe Brazil and it was so yummy. I have to tell you that I think my favorite part about this place is that while you are waiting to be seated they have coffee that you can serve yourself and enjoy while you wait. I think more places should do that.

Then off to the beach. I know we were kind of asking for more but what are you going to do when you are in Santa Cruz? Go to the beach! So, we had a really nice time laying on the beach, reading, and trying to swim ( it was pretty cold). While we are there we get a call that maybe someone has turned in one of the purses to the police station. We track down the leads we had being very ( private eye) and we came up empty handed.

Later that day we went to the beach once again and filed our police report. Then off to church with Joanna and then home. Driving home with an open window late at night was a bit cold. We bundled up and turned on the heater and just had to laugh at all we had been through.

Then this morning my husband and I went to replace my phone and I got the messages that had been sent to my "old" phone. A couple of friends had called because my phone had called them at weird times and with nobody talking. To all of you I am sorry and yes I am fine. The person who had my old phone thought it would be fun to call all of the numbers in my phone. What a day.

It is so weird how violated you feel when someone just takes your stuff. It was not even that I had that much or that expensive of stuff (except for my phone) but it was my stuff. My jeans, my flip flops, my swimsuit, my makeup and lotion. That kind of sounds selfish but I liked what I had and I don't want to have to replace it.

I think I will be more carefull and maybe I have learned a lesson but I do not like to live my life afraid of people or suspicious of others but it might take a little while to wear off. I still think it was very mean. If it is not yours, please don't just take it.