Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Still figuring out myself

Do you ever feel like you are going through changes all at once and it is uncomfortable and necessary at the same time?

That is where I am at right now. I gave up on my dreads. I know that if I stuck it out in about two or three years I would have wonderful hair that I would love but I was not willing to be that patient. So, now I look like the little picture on my blog again. My daughter is really happy because she never really liked it. I think she likes it when we look like each other.

I spent some time yesterday planning out a schedule for what I would do with LuLu during the days and cleaning my house and doing the things that need to get get done. Today I realized that I am not that kind of person. We like to go with the flow and see what happens for that day. There are somethings that we do every week but for the most part I like to see what happens with naps and how everyone is feeling and work around that. I thought I was a schedule person but I think maybe I am not.

I also have realized lately that I am parenting LuLu like I did Kli and they are so very different that it is not working. He loved to go to classes and wanted to go to school when he was three years old. He is very independent and likes to do things on his own. LuLu is not like that. She told me that she does not want me to leave her at classes with kids all by herself. She told me that her favorite things to do are go to the library with me, go to my husbands office with me, and take walks with me. Do you see the pattern here? (with me) I have decided that we are going to enjoy this time where she wants to be with me because I know there will come a day all to soon when she will want to do things on her own.

I have gone to the office with my daughters two mornings in a row now and sat in on the morning meeting. I have wanted to be more involved in my husbands business ,LJ Urban, but have not really known how, so we decided this was a good place to start. LuLu loves it, little bird rides in my carrier and usually takes a nap and we are all happy. It has been a good two days and I am excited to see how it goes from here.

And for the next while (for however long she wants it) we will be going to the office, the library, and walks...together


kddub said...

Parenting is such a complex thing. I know that Blue and Aiden are complete opposites, but am just now realizing that we will have to parent them totally different. (we are still trying to figure out how to parent Blue!)
I don't think I am a schedule person either, but something inside me wants to be. We don't live by a schedule, our weeks are different all the time. I keep feeling like I'd feel more at peace if I'd just make a schedule and stick to it. But... maybe, like you I should just accept that that's not my personality.

let me know how it goes for you.

Larissa said...

that is so sweet.
i am so nervous to be a momma to a totally different little person that will be totally different from our boy.... i have to learn all over again, just like you say!
how fun that she just loves to be with you!! :)