THE NEWS

We have some big news to share. Lately we feel like God is showing us that our family is not done growing. We had both felt like maybe we were done and that two kids was enough. But then we had a change of heart. I think God changed our hearts. My husband and I started talking about it and just could not get over the feeling that we were not done growing as a family. Then as we talked about it more we discovered that neither one of us felt like we wanted to have another baby naturally, ( as in birthing a baby). So we started talking about adoption and what that could mean for our family. As we talked, prayed, and researched we felt more and more like it was right for us.

( A little background) I have wanted to adopt before I even had kids. Actually before I was even married. I used to go to an orphanage in Mexico for the summers when I was in high school. Even then I would think about how neat it would be to adopt and take care of one of those wonderful children. Then I went to India a year after I graduated from high school. While we were there we went to this village to play with the kids and just kind of hang out. This girl that was about 8 or 9 years old came up to me with what I think was her sister and asked me to take the baby with me. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby home to my home. Even now it makes me so sad. I really, really wanted to take that baby. I was not even married or ready to have kids but I just wanted to take care of her. So, ever since then I have really wanted to adopt. I kind of feel like it is a calling that God has put on my life.

Back to the story.
God then blessed me with a huband that is totally open to adoption. He blessed me with two of my own wonderful kids and I am so glad that I got to experience carrying my kids in my belly and feeding them and having a newborn. I would not trade any of that for the world. But now I feel ready to accept another child into our family another way.

We have just sent in our application to the agency and we have decided on Guatemala. My husband and I love the Latin American culture and we as a family have been working on learning more spanish. We felt like it was a culture that we could intergrate into our family and that is important to us. We do not know how old the child will be. It could be anywhere from 6months old to about a year. It is a pretty long process and we have just barley started. We have talked to our son about it and he is excited about it. He is actually the one that was saying that we needed more kids in our family. He said to me the other night " I don't care how many kids we have or how old they are or if they are a boy or girl" I felt like that was such a blessing from God that he would be so open to whatever happens.

So, I will update on here whenever things change and as we progess in the process. It may be a long and emotional journey so I think it will be good for me to share what we are going through. The Lord is so good and He will make it all happen in His timing.

God is good

I need to give an update after that last depressing entry. I am feeling much better and I think it was just a little break down but God still cares about those things. This morning my friend, Vanessa came by with muffins in the morning and we had coffee and muffins and a little bit of conversation. Then I took my daughter to this singing time at the library and joined another friend there. The kids played and sang and then they invited us over for lunch. It just made my day. I realized that I do have friends and that it is normal to somedays feel lonely but I guess I just needed a reminder. I then went to this skin lady for an appointment that I had today and she put this mask/peel on me that made my face orange for 6 hours. I am talking bright orange. Let me just tell you that my kids had a good laugh when I got home looking like that. So, now I am off to bed feeling much better and ready to face another day. I am always amazed at how much God cares about all of our little things. What a good God we serve.

Only the Lonely

I am usually a pretty upbeat person. It takes a lot to get me down. It is just in my nature to let things rool off my back. I don't get worked up or sad very often. Movies make my husband cry more than me. I am just not much of a cryer. It is not that I do not care about stuff, it just has to get pretty bad for me to actually cry. I usually get mad before I get sad.

Is it possible to be lonely when you have friends? I have a lot of friends and I have my kids and my husband but lately I have been feeling very lonely. I need a certain amount of social interaction and it seems like it has been really hard to get that lately. It is not that I have not tried. About every other day I call someone or two to see if they want to come over or go somewhere with the kids or something, ANYTHING. I have always wanted to be one those houses where friends stopped by to say hi, have a cup of coffee, talk a little and then go on our way. No big set up, no planning, just a little conversation and a little contact with another adult. The other day one girl did do this and it made me very happy. I hope that it happens again.

I have thought about doing a regular play date weekly but I feel like that is so planned and something that people feel like they have to go to because they said yes once and now they are stuck. I guess I want it to be more spontaneous than that. But it also seems like moms are not home much anymore. If you do get the guts to stop by they will most likely be out. Not that I am not out a lot but that is because I can only stay at home alone with my kids for so long. They want to play with other kids sometimes and I need to have a little interaction, even if it is just with the coffee shop worker or something.

This seems so petty and not like a big deal in the whole picture but it has me really down. So, down that I actually cried. I just got to wondering. Is it something with me that people are not comfortable being around me, do they not feel comfortable in my house, or is it just that everyone I know already has their " friends" and does not need anymore?

How do you get this type of friendship? I do not feel comfortable just stopping by most peoples houses because it does not seem like everyone likes that and unless they say that they do it is kind of intrusive. Devon's house is the exception. I always feel like it is just fine if I stop by there. Thanks, Devon. I get tired of having to plan a party in order to have people at my house. I actually had a friendship party here after we moved so that everyone would know where we live and maybe stop by in the future. Nothing came of that. I am one of those people that can talk to someone in the afternoon and invite them over for dinner that night. I like it like that.

So, this is a bit rambling and I am not writing this to get friends or anything. I am just wondering if I am the only one that deals with this or if maybe it is just something with having little kids. The heat is also giving me cabin fever because it is just too hot to go outside. I am going to take my daughter to the public pool right now, maybe I will be able to talk to one of the moms there and get my social fix.

I do not know how many more times I can stand to be turned down, not called, or just ignored. I know I am being a little dramatic. This to will pass.

Follow Up

Well, my son came home yesterday with a big smile on his face. He had made some friends and felt much more comfortable. He actually told me that he did not need me to stay with him anymore. It makes me happy for him but kind of sad that I am not needed. This week is a circus theme and at the end of the week they are all going to put on a circus that the parents get to go to.

On the other side my 2 year old daughter said that she is big enough to go to school. It is sad when I tell her that she has to be bigger and she says, " I am bigger" in her little voice. She is just in love with her brother and is kind of sad that he is gone during the day. She points to him and says " my brother" It is just to sweet.

We are still really hot here so we spend a lot of the day in the house. It is just to hot to be outside unless you are in the water. We are going to Montana next week and I am looking forward to a little cooler weather.

My brain is kind of fried from to much sun. I need to cut this short.

Summer Camp

Today was my sons first day of summer camp. We signed him up for a week of it at the school that we are trying to get him into. We are hoping to hear soon if he will be able to go there next year or not. I thought that if he does the summer camp would be a good way to transition into the school, he could meet some kids, and he would be more familiar with the setting.

So, this morning we took him and he wanted me to wait for awhile until he felt comfortable. He got a little teary eyed a couple of times when he was not sure what was going on but he always pulled himself together and pressed on. I watched while he got a partner and started the task that the teacher asked them to do. At first he was not sure and I could tell he was a bit stressed. Then he started getting more comfortable and was smiling and laughing. It made me so happy. I know how hard it is to go into a situation where you do not know anybody and try to make it on your own. He did really well. After about 15 min. I asked him if it was ok for me to leave. He said yes with a big smile on his face.

It is almost time to pick him up and I am looking forward to hear how his day went. My little boy is really growing up.

THIS IS RANCH DRESSING

The Mother of All Iced Teas

I love iced tea. When I was in high school we went to this place called Taco Tree. It has the best nachos and what we called the mother of all iced teas because it is a huge cup. Some of my best memories are going there with friends and then when I met my husband I took him there. It is the little test to see if he would like it or not. Good thing he loves it as much as me. Now my kids love it also. It feels good to know that I am passing down the love of Taco Tree.

It has been really hot all week and they say it is not going to get better any time soon. The best thing on a hot day to me is to sit inside with the a/c on, watch a good movie and drink lots and lots of iced tea. Now that I have kids it seems to be a lot harder to do all that but I at least still can have the iced tea.

This summer has been really crazy. It seems like there is just always a lot going on. My son has been taking swimming lessons and he is really swimming now. I cannot believe it! Swimming is one of my favorite things to do so I am so happy that he will be able to be confident in the water. That is one of my main goals as a mother is to have kids that love the water and are comfortable in the water.

With July wrapping up here soon we are all looking forward to August. The first week we are going to go to Montana to visit my husbands sister and her husband and three kids. That is going to be a lot of fun. We will come back for about a week and a half and then we are going to go up to Tahoe for a week. I am really looking forward to some family time and enjoying the last of summer before we get back to school and the daily life stuff.



On a side note:

How did we end up with two of the loudest kids in the world? They think that they need to literally yell at all times to be heard.

Why must my daughter do everything by herself? That takes a lot of patience.

Why does my son have to give me the play by play of everything he has ever seen in his entire life? I kind of zone out and make the right sounds so that he thinks that I am listening but I can only listen to the " funny thing that happened on Tom and Jerry " so many times before I go crazy

Why is it that even when they are making me feel like I just might loose my mind that they melt my heart by that one little look or kiss or hug and I am ready to do it all over again the next day?

I think this is really great

www.shapeofamother.blogspot.com

The King and Queen

The other half

So, this is what happened to the rest of the shower door while it was being taken out of the house. Glass, glass everywhere we turn there is broken glass!

SCARY

We had a big scare last night. My girl was in the shower in our bathroom that has glass doors. Levi was up there with her when I heard a big crash and then a lot of crying. I ran upstairs to see the shower door shattered and my girl bleeding. Levi had her and was already washing off the cuts to see how bad they were. We were very blessed and they are all very minor cuts but she was pretty scared. We got her cleaned up, bandaged, and dressed. She just kept saying, " I getting out, and I got big hurt". I felt so bad for her. That was the weirdest thing. We do not know how it happened but we are all thankful that she is just fine.

My First

OK , so it has been awhile since I had my first born but I was not blogging then so I thought I would write his story. I have been thinking a lot about my birthing experiences since deciding that I will be a doula for a friends birth. So here is my first experience.

December 10, 2000

I am not due until January 1st but I wake up to what I think might be my water breaking. There was not a lot of water so I was not sure. Then the contractions started being pretty regular but kind of far apart. We call the mid-wife and family so that my sister and mom could get ready to come to our house. I called my parents and told them that my water had broken. They told my dad and he thought we were talking about our water pipes. Non of us were expecting a baby so soon.

So everyone gets there and things are moving along very nicely. I had some food, drank a lot of water, and then went for a walk. That is when things started to get more serious. We were going to walk around the block. About half way around this cute old lady asks Levi if he could tie her shoe for her. She had no idea that I was in labor. So he did and it made us laugh the rest of the was home because it was just so random.

Once in the house I really wanted to get in the water because that is where I planned to have the baby. We had a blow up kid pool with high sides to birth in. The midwife said that we needed to wait a little longer so I go into the shower. That felt pretty good. Once I could not stand up in there any longer they let me get into the pool. That felt wonderful. It really made a big difference.

It was about 1pm when I got in the water. I labored in there until just before 5pm when it was time to push. That was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. I always thought that I would be more in control and decide when I was going to push but my body just took over and pushed that baby out.

Our BOY!! 7lbs 5 oz. and a very coned shaped head. I got to hold him in the water for a little while and Levi cut the cord. Then they took him out to check him and I got out and into the bed. He was not breathing like they wanted him to so they used some of their oxygen but then they were running out. The only way to describe how he sounded was that he was grunting. So, by the midwifes recomendation they took him to the hospital. My mom went with Levi and the midwife and I stayed at home with my sister. I was so worn out that I did not really realize how scary it was. My dad came down and him and my sister stayed with me through the night.
Levi had called and said that he was just fine but they wanted to keep him for a little longer.


Early the next morning we all went to the hospital and I cried when I saw him. They had hooked him up to an IV in his head for antibiotics " just to be safe" and that is why they wanted to keep him to finish the antibiotics. All of his tests came back good and he was eating good but it was hard to really feed him because he was in the ICU and we did not have a room. So he stayed one more night and then we decided to take him home. It was against the doctors orders but only because they wanted to finish the antibiotics.


So, finally we were home. Just the three of us and I was so happy. Our boy did really good. At all of his check-ups he was really thriving. He ate well, and slept good. It was not exactly how I had imagined it but I also did not think I would have my first baby three weeks early.

We really enjoyed bonding and just all of us being together. He was not the easiest baby but we were also just learning how to do this whole new thing. He put up with a lot of trial and error on our part. He is a real trouper.

Today

So, I went to the dentist and good news is there are no cavities and things look pretty good. The bad news is that I have to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I know that everyone else has already had this done years ago but I have been putting it off. I was always too busy with work and school before I got married and then I was too busy having babies and all that goes along with that. So, now is the time. You know you really are a mom when the dentist says that you will need to rest for a couple of days after and have someone take care you you and you think " maybe getting my teeth pulled is a good idea, when is the soonest I can get this done?"

Random Thoughts

Italy won!!!

We had a world cup/birthday party today. It was a lot of fun. Italy won so that was good and we had a lot of fun with our friends.



Our son came home today after camping for four days with his grandparents. He had so much fun. He has been talking non-stop since he got home. It is good to have him back.



I am having a major PMS time so everything seems a bit overwelming but I know that in a couple of days everything will go back to normal.


I have a dentist appointment in the morning for a cleaning. I really hate going to the dentist.


The kids swim lessons also start tomarrow. They are looking forward to that.


I am reading the best parenting book ever written ( in my opionion) called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel

I also just found out from some friends about a web site called www.etsy.com that sells different home made stuff that people from all over make and I think it is my new favorite web site. There is a bunch of really cool stuff.

I am over tired and need to get some rest. It is hard to get a complete sentence out.

4TH OF JULY

I love this holiday. It has always been one of my favorites. When I was a kid I think I got sick about 3 or 4 years in a row on the 4th of July. I was just so excited or somthing that my body would break down and get sick. So this year was a real treat to me. I got to go to the little parade called the Dutch Flat parade that I have been going to for as long as I can remember. It is such a small town and the parade is really little, so little in fact that it goes around twice. Nothing like true small town America to celebrate the 4th. My son even got to ride in the police car the second time around. He loved that! When I was a kid I was a clown one year. I got all dressed up and I was so excited. Yep, that was one of the years that I got sick. I was one unhappy clown.















Then we went to my parents house for a BBQ. Some of my family was there and it was just a very relaxed, layed back afternoon. The food was really good, the kids played, and we just sat around and talked. Very nice.











Then we left there and were off to another BBQ ( the all American thing to do) at our friends house. Where once again our kids ran around and had a great time and we got to visit with some new people. We always like meeting new people so that was fun for us. We had more good food and totally stuffed ourselves. They really threw a great party and we were sad to leave but we had one more stop to make.








We had to end up at the fireworks. We were debating it because of the kids but I just could not pass it up. I love fireworks and experiencing them with my kids is so much fun. We went down by the river and we could see them really good. The kids loved them and we could officially call it a day. It had been long but one that we will remember. Lots of fun, friend, family and food. What more could you ask for?

Family Camp

I am a bit behind but last weekend we went to family camp with our church. We camped on Lake Tahoe and it was a lot of fun. We shared the food and kind of combined our camps with two other families. It was really nice to have other people to cook with and clean up with. The kids had an absolute blast. They played so much. There were these really little frogs all over the bathrooms and the boys spent a good part of their days catching frogs. We spent the days on the beach just swimming and digging in the sand. My girl got so tired that she actually fell asleep on the beach. We came home so tired that I thought I would never be able to move again. I think that it will get to be even more fun to camp with the kids when they are a little older. The 5 am wake up from the girl is what made it a bit hard. All in all it was a fun trip and I am glad we did it. We also got to know more people from the church. On the last morning we had so much food and we did not want to take it home so we decided to just cook it all. We rounded up about 4 or 5 guys that we willing to eat. The really cool thing was that they actually did the dishes! High Five for the guys!