What is really important?

I feel like I am always flip flopping on my feelings. One day I am so excited I can hardly stand it then the next I have a day like today. There are a few factors that have made for a pretty horrible day.

1. I went to a concert last night and stayed up way to late and woke up way to early ( I do not do well on little sleep)

2. I decided to do something about those last 10lbs that I have been trying to get rid of ( I do not do well on little food)

3. We just got back from vacation and although that was wonderful it is taking me forever to get things back in order ( I feel
like I have been grocery shopping for days just to restock the fridge)

4. On the one day that I really needed my daughter to take a nap so that I could also she decided that she just was not going to
do that today ( of all the days to choose)

5. I am PMSing to just top everything off ( just for good measure)


I keep having this battle in my head. On the one side is the side that says it is a good idea to focus on myself some and to do the things that I want to do right now. Like lose some weight and exercise. On the other side is the sanity of my family. The problem is that I do not really "want" to do either of those things so when I decide that I am going to I get really grouchy. Along with the lack of sleep and the hormones. But I have done this so many times. I decide this is the day! This is the time and I set out to do it. Then after one day of it I see the results. It is an unhappy house with kids that are driving me crazy when they do not usually and for no aparent reason. I see a house that is a disaster because I have no energy to do anything because of the lack of food. ( now do not think that I am starving myself. I always use the weight watchers program and it works really well and is very balanced) but like I said I do not do very well when I am depriving myself or maybe it is just mental. I see a husband that is really trying to support me but is totally miserable because of all of the above. Then I take a minute to look around me and I think to myself. Is it really worth it? It is not like I am obese to the extent that I am worried about my health. It is my own vein thinking. It is me trying to be what I was before I had kids. And when I realize that, I see that I do not want to be who I was before because I like who I am now. I like being a mother and a wife. I like being a laid back friend, someone who can roll with the punches of life.

I have a lot on my plate right now. I have two little kids who need me a lot. I have a husband that needs to be supported and loved. I am getting ready to take on the roll of teacher. I am in the process of adopting a new baby into our famiily. I have food to make, a house to clean, and a need to squeeze in some reading time ( for my sanity). That is what I want to concentrate on right now. Why do I keep getting distracted? I could go on and on about our society and why that is why it is hard to be a "normal woman" but I think that I need to learn to be satisfied in myself and to let go of a standard that is just to high. So, tomarrow is another day and another chance to see what a wonderful life I have. I am going to spend the day loving my family, cleaning a bit more, making a dinner that we can all sit down and enjoy together , and of course read a bit.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

Today is our last day of vacation. It has been wonderful. It has also been longer than we were expecting. You know it has been a good vacation when you and the kids are ready to go home. I am always so happy after a vacation because I am ready to cook again and it feels like a fresh new start. I end up with so many ideas that I want to do and I am able to get a new perpective on life. We decide what we want to continue doing and what we want to not do anymore. We get a new outlook on what is important in our lives and what we should live without.
I am also going back to beautiful new floors that some very wonderful and hard working guys have been working on for us. I am so very thankful. They will be done now in time for our soup night and it is also in the room that will become our homeschool room so that makes me so happy. I am looking forward to going home and getting the room all set up for our first day of school.
That is the other thing that I am really excited about. I have been really working on figuring out what program to do with my boy and non of them were very exciting. Then I read this blog and the lady homeschools her two kids and uses a program called Charlotte Mason and it is perfect! I then found a web site that layed it all out for me and told me what books to order and it even has a sample schedule that you can follow if you want. So I spent a lot of time yesterday ordering all that I will need to start school and now we are just waiting for it to be delivered.
My husband had to go to work today but we are finishing out our last day. My mom is coming up and I think we are going to go swimming. My girl is so tired that I do not know how long we will last but then we will head home. Tahoe has been very good to us and I will miss waking up to the beautiful mountains right outside. But home is sweet and I am all charged up to get things in order. I just hope the feeling lasts long enough to get stuff done.

This ones for Jed

We were swimming in the lake and I saw this snake. The kids were so excited and wanted to hold it. I was a bit freaked out that it was in the water that I was swimming in. My girl even said that the snake was "licking her"

More Tahoe

We have been

*hiking
*swimming
*biking
*and just hanging out in the condo


We are having such a great time. We found a beautiful beach all to ourselves that we never wanted to leave. We went on a bike ride to a playground where the kids had a good time playing hide and seek. Levi took the kids hiking one morning and they had a wonderful time. My parents took the kids for a night and Levi and I had some good alone time. We did a really hard hike and made it to the top of this big mountain. It really felt good to accomplish a feat like that. Overall we have just had some really good quality family time.

Today was a weird day. I woke up to the phone ringing and it was the girl that I am going to be a doula for. She said that her water had broken and they were on their way to the hospital. So, I got ready really fast and headed to the hospital. I made it there just a bit after them and they were monitoring her. It ended up that they sent her home because they did not think her water really broke or just did a little and her contractions were not very hard or consistent. So I hung around for awhile to see if something would happen. I had lunch with a friend, checked on our house and stuff, and then talked to her. She said nothing was different and that I should go ahead and come back to Tahoe, so that is what I did. We are planning on staying here through the weekend while some really great guys work on our floors at home. I am so excited about that! So, as long as I do not get another call from her we are going to finish out our wonderful vacation. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

Happenings

We have a couple of things going on that I wanted to put the word out there about.

1. My husband started a thing called www.dadshike.com that is for dads and their kids. The first Saturday of every month they go on a hike. He posts on the web site where they will be meeting and then whoever wants to go just shows up. They usually bring a lunch and stop and eat along the way. This will be the fifth month and they are really loving it. He got an article written about him in a local magazine called Kid Around Town and he is hoping for it to really take off and grow. Check it out in my links.

2. We are starting a local soup night. Every other tuesday night at 5:30pm starting September 5th at our house. We are going to have soup and bread and enjoy dinner together. Kids and all. We want it to be a time of fellowship with friends and we will see where it leads.

Family Vacation

We are up at Tahoe right now on the first solo family vacation in a very long time. It was much needed. I felt like I had lost control with my kids. It was not their fault but we were just not connected like we should be. So, a trip to the mountains, by ourselves was just what we needed. They are in the hot tub with their dad right now so I am enjoying a little time to myself. It is always so hard to decided what to do with that time. I have so many things on my list. But I decided that sitting out on the porch, listening to a live DJ and updating my blog was a good choice. I love it up here at Squaw Valley. There is always something different going on. Sometimes there is a live band, sometimes a DJ we have enjoyed miniture golf, a oversized game of checkers, little kids pools and later this week there will be a film festival. At the same time it is very restful and you can go in your room and pretend like there is nothing going on and totally relax. I hope that we are building memorable times with our kids and that they will benifit from being away with just us and no other interuptions. When Levi and I first talked about buying this condo up here I was really not sure about it. I was worried that maybe we would not want to come here all of the time because we are the kind of people that really like to try different things and I thought we would just feel tied down. I also worried that we would look like snobs and that is the last thing I want. He wanted it for us, for the people who work for him, and to be able to bless others by letting them come here. He felt really good about it and so I went with it. Now about 6 months later I am so glad that we did. We have been totally blessed by being able to come here but so have so many other people. My family has used it, his family, people from other countries and friends that work very hard and just need a rest. I am so happy that the Lord is willing to use us in this way. We have a guest book here at the condo and I love reading it when we come here and see just how many people were able to get away, rest, and enjoy God's creation. He is a good God that loves all of us and uses all of us in so many different ways.

My Kids

It is the weirdest thing. When I have the kids with me all of the time I just wish for time to do stuff by myself. Then the past two days I have been able to do just that and all I can think about is how much I miss my kids. They are at my parents house and they will be there until tomorrow morning. Levi left this morning at 6am and will not be back until tonight so I have had all day to myself. I cannot lie, it has been very nice. I have gotten a lot done, had a lot of me time, and a lot of much needed quite. On the other hand I really miss those kids. It makes me realize that they really are what my life is about and what gives my life meaning. I am so glad to have them and I will be very glad to get them back tomorrow. But for now they are totally happy and well cared for ( probably too well cared for) and I have a few more hours until Levi gets back so I am going to enjoy the peace and quite while it lasts.

Life

It has been a good week. We have gotten back into the swing of things. We had some friends stay the weekend with us and that was a lot of fun. We have decided to homeschool for sure this year and we have officially moved on to the next step of our adoption. It is the part where we have to just gather together a lot of paperwork so that is what we are working on right now. I feel good about the decisions we have made lately and God has really given me and my husband peace with what we are doing. It feels like a lot of changes at once but I think that it is all for a reason.

My parents are taking the kids tonight and tomarrow and my husband and I are really looking forward to some time together. It is weird because we wait for this to happen and then we always go totally blank when it comes to figuring out what to do. I guess it does not really matter what we do as long as we are togther.

We are enjoying our last bit of summer and I am going to be spending this time getting ready to homeschool and figuring out exactly how I am going to do it. I pray that the Lord gives me direction and that I can figure it all out. It is a new adventure and I am excited to see what happens.

One of my favorite things right now is listening to my girl sing. She puts her whole self into it and means it with her whole heart. She is a joy to have in this family.

This is scattered and random but that is kind of what my life is like.

Grace

I figure that if I talk about this book enough everybody will decide to read it. It is the one called Grace Based Parenting and I am getting so much out of it. It is really easy to read and you just learn so much. This morning I was reading about how we are not supposed to shield our kids from everything and make it so that they live in a "safe Chrisitan environment" and never let them learn from things in this world. He is saying that we need to teach them to trust in God in those situations and to learn how to do that. He was also saying that if he shild them and try to keep everything from them and act like the world is a really scary place we are teaching them that God cannot handle it and that He is not to be trusted. I thought it was really profound. He was also saying that we need to accept that our kids are fragile, that the world is a sinful place, that Saten is out to ruin us but that God had the first word and He will have the last word. He is mighty and our kids need to know that.

Levi and I are also really enjoying this show that we discovered on the itunes thing where we can buy episodes and watch them on the computer. It is called 30 days and it is by the guy that did the show Super size me. He takes topics and then has a person go and live in that situation for 30 days to see what it is really like. As an example. There was a minuteman (the guys that help watch the borders between us and Mexico and report anyone that they see coming across) and they had him go and stay with a family in East L.A. who are here illegally. It was a family of 7 living in less than 500 sq. ft. and he lived with them for 30 days. It was so interesting. To watch his feelings and opionions change when his world view was opened up and broadened. It made me realize how important it is for us and our kids to have a real world view and not just what is going on here in America.

My project right now is that it looks like we will not be able to get my son in the school that we want to this year so I think I will be homeschooling him this year. I am doing a lot of research and figuring out how I want to do it. We will see what we will do after I do some more looking around and see what fits our family the best.

It's Nice To Be Home

Well, we made it home safe and sound. It was a long day of traveling but we made it all ok.

We left at 10am and drove for about 4 hours
Got to the airport and our plane left at 3:30
We were supposed to have a 2 hour lay over and it turned into a 3 hour one
Then second flight we sat on the runway for a really long time
Finally landed in Sacramento at about 10pm
After getting our luggage and home it was after 11pm before us and the kids were in bed.

The kids did really well through the whole thing. Not really any break downs but they were pretty tired today.

After we got in the car we noticed a horrible smell and discovered that one of the car seats and my bag had some kind of really nasty liquid on them. I do not know what it was but that was not a very nice surprise. We cleaned it all up today and everything is just fine.

I thought I would share some pictures from our trip

We went to a waterslide park that was really great for the kids. We all had a really good time.






We spent one day at the Glacier National Park. Look at how clear that water is! It was the most beautiful lake any of us had ever seen. We were not prepared to swim but all of my family decided that the water was just to nice to not swim so they striped down to their underwear and jumped in. Just as I was getting up the guts to join them it got pretty windy and was not warm enough any more. O well maybe next time. We also got to see a mama bear and her two cubs. That was very cool. We went on a short hike that was also beautiful. We had a great time as a family and being outside.





On our last day there we went to Whitefish lake and spent the day on the beach and swimming. The kids had a ball and as you all know by now I love to swim so we were all happy. The weather was perfect in Montana and we took full advantage of it and spent most of our time outside.




When we were not spending our time outside in the water and sun we were at the house playing many, many different games. Dress up was one and building forts was as a big one. The kids got along really well and built some life time memories with their cusins. My girl kept calling this cusin her friend and after awhile she told me she was her sister. My son also had a grand time building things, creating things, and just acting like any kid should.

I am glad to be back but I am also glad we went. It is so important for the kids to make these memories. I have such great ones from when I was little and I want them to have that also. There is nothing quite like a cusin.

Montana

We have been on vacation for the last few days visiting my husbands sister and her family. We are having a great time. The kids are playing really good and we have done a lot of things. We went to a water slide park that was really fun. Both of the kids went down the slides and just had a great time. Yesterday we went to Glacier National Park and swam in a beautiful lake and went on a short hike. We also saw a mama bear and her two cubs and a few different deer. Today we went to an art show and now the kids are playing in the back yard on a slip and slide. It has been good so far. It is amazing how much easier it is to travel as the kids get older. This is the easiest so far. Well, I don't want to take to much time right now but I will post some pictures when we get home.