Dressing up at the children's museum

Some Christmas pictures

We spent Christmas with my parents, my sister, and my grandma. The kids had so much fun. My girl got her first doll house from my parents and she loves it so much. My boy got one of those robot dogs that do what you tell them and all kinds of fun stuff, also from my parents. They got lots of other wonderful things from everyone that loves them so much but most of all we had a very relaxed, beautiful day.

Merry Christmas

The kids are in bed. We are in the mountains at the condo. There is snow outside. I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. So, I am going to get the stocking filled, the presents under the tree, and off to bed for me. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. It is a good reason to celebrate.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Colds, Waiting, and Kids

We all got the winter cold. It is not so bad except for my daughter. She is so grumpy and it is making it hard on all of us.

We are in the waiting stage of our adoption. We are ready to be placed with a child but we just have to wait for one to be matched to us. I think this has been the hardest part. It is hard when there is nothing for us to do. We just sit and wait. I am glad that we have Christmas to keep us busy. It helps to keep our minds off it but it is always there in the back of your mind.

Today is my husbands last day of work until after New Years. I am so excited. The whole office will be closed so it will be a real break without anyone calling him or needing him for anything. We are looking forward to some good, quality family time.

The kids are just, well, I don't know how to say it... busy, loud, funny, frustrating, crazy, loving... Everyday is a new challenge and a new joy.

I am looking forward to this Christmas. We do not have a lot of plans but we are going to go to Tahoe and stay up there for a few days. I actually found some presents that I think my husband will like and the kids are both just so excited that it is rubbing off on us.

I feel so incredibly blessed this year and it is hard not to kind of feel guilty when others are having a hard time. I like to think that God wants us to use our blessed times to make others hard times a little easier so I will be looking for ways to do that. May God use us all in all times of our lives.

Only one week until Christmas Eve!

I cannot believe that it is almost Christmas and I have not even written anything about it yet. The reason this is so shocking to me is that I love Christmas. It really is one of my favorite holidays. I like holidays in general but Christmas is extra special. I was sitting in our living room with the Christmas tree lights on and just loving the feeling. I think a tree makes a home feel like home. We decorated our house and tree last Sunday. I love pulling out all of the Christmas stuff and how excited the kids get. No matter how many times you do it, it is still exciting every year.

Some of our traditions are:

We get the kids an ornament each year. My mom and dad did this for me and my sister and when I moved out I got to take mine with me. I can remember each one and when I got it. I am hoping to do the same for my kids.

We do an advent sock thing. It is 24 baby socks hung up in a row and in each one is a piece of paper with something for us to do that day written on it. Things like do a puzzle, color together, movie night... things like that.

We bake Christmas cookies. This year we are doing it with my mom, sister, and grandma. I am looking forward to baking with everyone else.

One night we all get in the car with popcorn or some snack and drinks and drive around and look at Christmas lights. This is also something I did with my family and I love doing it with my kids.

We read as many Christmas books as we can get out hands on. The library is a good place to get these but we also are always adding to our own colection.

We read the Christmas story (the real story) before we open presents on Christmas morning ( also something my family does)

We listen to lots of Christmas music.

I love traditions so I am always excited when I can make them with my own family. Some years we do other things but these are the things we do every year. I think it is so important to build memories and whatever you do as a family is building memories. I want my kids to look back and remember this as a good time that we had as a family. Not a stressfull time but a time that was about family. I hope that is what they will remember. And that we had a lot of fun!

What we will be doing tomorrow...

We are so excited about tomorrow night and attending this fun event.

This is the latest thing that my husbands business is putting on and we think it should be fun.

Birthday pictures

Happy Birthday

To my first born son,

You turned six today. I can hardly believe it! Six sounds so old. I do not know how it happened so fast.

This year you was the first year that you wanted an all boy party. So we invited six boys over and had a fort party. You and your dad built forts all over our house. Then you guys played with dart guns and silly string and ran around like boys should. You were so excited about the whole thing. The friends, the cake, the presents, the fact that it was all for you.

You are becoming your own little person. You have your own ideas about how things should be and you are always wanting to learn. I am having a lot of fun teaching you this year. You are so interested in everything that it has made me get excited about leaning along with you.

You are a take charge kind of guy. You can enter a room and just make yourself comfortable. You make friends easily. You also have a strong sense of justice and can get very upset if you see a wrong being made.

I love that you still like to sit with me on the couch. You like to be read to and you like to cuddle. You are so sweet. You take me on little dates and you really like to spend time with people. You enjoy going to work with your dad and being grown up and you like to talk "business" with the guys.

You are an amazing big brother. You really look out for your sister and you truly love her. You are proud of her when she does something for the first time. You care when she gets hurt and you laugh when she is funny. You guys play with each other really well and I love watching your imaginations grow. You play king and queen, mom and dad, cooking, and cars and trains.

You are also our neat freak. Your room is always pretty clean and if I want to do and organizing project you are right there with me helping every step of the way.

When we ask you what you want to be when you grow up you say with no hesitation " I am going to work with daddy" You love to build things and are always coming up with new ideas of things to make. You really are our little builder.

This is the year that you stopped believing in Santa Claus because things were just not adding up for you. You still love Christmas and actually you enjoy every holiday.

You are our first born and so that means that we have had to try things out on you and see what works. I hope that has not been to hard for you. You are a good sport and I know you know we love you. I am looking forward to experiencing year six with you and seeing how you change and grow this year.

Happy Birthday my wonderful boy

Love,
Mama

What music is playing in your day?

I read a post by this girl and I loved the concept. The idea is that instead of a schedule your day has a rhythm. I have been thinking about it a lot lately and I will think in my head " what is playing right now? Is it classical music, rock, smooth jazz, worship, hip-hop, R&B?" I do not know if that is exactly what the girl meant when she wrote the post but it is how I have imagined it. I also like the idea of not haveing a really strict schedule but that there is some "rhythm" to our days. There is a flow and it may change some days and some days are a faster flow and some days are a slower flow but there is some reason to what we are doing and some thought to our days. When things feel like they are getting out of control and I am going to go crazy with the noise I mentally turn down the volume and figure out where our rhythm is out of line. I really like this concept and I think it just explains life so well. It is something I can really understand and put into practice in our lives.

Things I am enjoying

I love this website. It is great for Christmas presents or just for yourself.

This is a blog that I am enjoying but I also am reading this book and loving it so far.

If you read my blog about coffee you know that I like the stuff. I am dying to try this coffee and I think you should to.

I am liking this one for food ideas. Every mom can use good ideas.

Seven Years

Today I have been married to my wonderful husband for seven years. I cannot believe that it has been that long and at the same time I can barely remember what it was like before he was a part of my life. We have decided that we want to change our anniversary date because December 4th is just a very busy time. Our sons birthday is the 10th and there are other family member birthdays and then there is Christmas so we are moving the date to sometime in the spring. We have not picked a date yet. All that to say that we are not really celebrating today and postphoning it until later.

I know that it is easy to get used to someone and then only noticing the things that maybe bother you or get on your nerves. I want to take this opportunity to say that I am very thankful for my husband. He treats me really well and he puts up with my crazy moods. He makes me laugh and he is a great father.

All I can say is that I am thankful that I married well.
He is a real catch!

Coffee

Is it a problem that I really love coffee? That I could drink it all day, every day? We have this coffee maker that you put this little pod in and then pull the handle and it makes a cup of coffee right into your cup.

My son, who is almost six, has learned how to make coffee for me. He is so cute making it. He even knows how to put the cream and sugar in it. Let me tell you, he can make a really good cup of coffee.

The other day it was the late afternoon and he asked me,"do you want a cup of coffee mama?" It was just so sweet. He knows that it is something that I enjoy and it is something that he can now give to me.

My husband is amazing and sometimes I do not even want to tell people this because I feel so spoiled but most mornings he brings me a cup of coffee and the paper in bed. I get to have enough time to drink a cup of coffee and look through the paper. It also gives me some quite time before I have to take on the day. I know, I am totally spoiled but I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I was laying in bed thinking that when we are old and have been married for a million years this is one of those things that I will look back on and smile. It is a way to love me and touch my very heart.

Ok so maybe coffee is a weird topic to write about but it is the one pleasure that I look forward to everyday and it is a thing that is just for me. I do not have to share it or make it for anyone else and I can just sit and enjoy.

I also like that it is something that you can do with a friend or family. In my family we drink coffee non-stop. There is almost always a pot brewing. I think that is part of it. It reminds me of home. It is something that I watched my parents do everyday and now I am that parent. I like that everyone has their way of making their coffee. I like mine with cream and sugar. Not a lot but a little of both. Most of my family drinks it black.

We actually owned a coffee shop when my boy was about six months old. We both worked their but my husband more than me. It was fun to be able to make any drink we wanted any time. I liked to watch how different people acted in the morning. Some people were morning people and ready to take on the day and some were just dragging themselves in in order to get their coffee so that they could get the day started. It was a nice atmosphere to work in and when you are your own boss there is nobody looking over your shoulder. The hours were really hard and there was always more work to do. So, after awhile we sold it and now we just enjoy going to other peoples coffee shops.

There is nothing quite like a good strong cup of really hot coffee with a little cream and sugar, (especially if it is made by your amazing little boy)

Samaritan's Purse

We have this change jar by the front door. My huband and I put change in it whenever we have to much or don't want to carry it. Then I got a magazine in the mail from the group Samaritan's Purse. There is a section in the middle that are less expensive and say that they are gifts that kids can give.
Then I had an idea.
I took the kids and our change jar to one of those coin machines that you put the change in, it counts it for you, and then you get cash for it.
It came up to 33.00 and some change. I asked the store cashier for small bills.
Then we came home with our money and sat down with the magazine and I let my son pick out what he wanted to buy with the money we had.
He picked a dozen chicks, milk,a warm meal for a week,a little lamb that plays Jesus loves you. At the point we were out of money but then he saw the one that says "Help a child learn to read and write" He was so sure he wanted to do that one. I think the fact that he loves to read made this one really stick out to him. So I told him I would see how much cash I had in my purse. When we counted it we were still six dollars short. So he decided to get out his wallet. In there was a five dollar bill that he had found in the grass at the park and he had told me that he wanted to give it to someone who needed it. So this seemed very appopriate to him. Then we were still one dollar short. He pulled out another dollar and put it in the pile. He was so proud and happy that we were able to buy so much with the money we pulled together and we were really celebrating the true meaning of Christmas.
We put the change that was left over in the jar to start all over again. We will save our change for the year and next year we will look through the magazine and bless more people because God has blessed us so greatly.
I encourage you to look up there web site if you do not get this magazine in the mail and check it out. It is so tangable for kids and the amounts are something that they can really pay for. Ten dollars for a dozen chicks, four dollars for milk for a week, seven dollars for a warm meal for a week.... And in meeting the real needs of these people it opens the doors for them to meet their spiritual needs as well.
It is never to early to start celebrating the true and real message of Christmas.

What makes a five (almost six) year old happy

1. Rootbeer Floats

2. Building forts day and night

3. Planning for his upcoming birthday party

4. Reading a whole book in one day

5. Watching The Amazing Race

6. Doing science experiments

7. Drawing pictures

8. Building pretty much anything out of everything

9. Taking photos

10.Playing with his cats

Updates

My friends Kristen and Brody had their baby boy last night and everything went really well. It is their third boy and he is beautiful. I am so happy for them.

We have completed all of the paper work for our adoption and will be able to meet with a social worker soon.

I have started a whole new school program with my son and I am really liking it so far. We have only done it for two days but I am happy so far. It is the Sonlight program and I love that they include so much about other countries and missionaries. I am still getting the hang of it but he seems to be liking it and learning a lot.

My daughter had her first experience with shots today ( we choose not to do them all or at the time that you would regularly but we are not starting with some of them) I felt so bad for her today and now I am letting her just sit and watch movies.

I got to spend the weekend with my mom and sister and had a really nice time. We shopped and ate and shopped and ate and did a little more shopping and eating. I am glad I got to spend that time with them.

I am going to now go and make lists. I do a lot better when I am feeling overwhelmed with things that need to get done if I make a list. Around this time of year I always need lots of lists.

Turning 28!!!

Tomorrow November 7th I will turn 28 years old. I love birthdays. I love my birthday and I love other peoples birthdays. I feel like I have been celebrating my birthday for a long time already but tomorrow is the official day and so I thought I would share my birthday thoughts.

Wishes for this next year:

1. That we get our new baby through the adoption and that we all adjust well

2. That I continue to exercise because it makes me a better person

3. That I will continue to mature and grow as a person


Facts about me:

I was a little over 8lbs at birth. I am the first born. Like most first borns I was a stubborn child and still am. I was born in Auburn, Ca. I had very chubby cheeks just like my daughter did. People say I look just like my mom.

I have always liked birthdays and thought that they were and are very special.

Some of my friends like that I try out an age before they get to it. I don't really mind because I feel like with every year that I get older, I get more sure of myself, I enjoy life even more, and I have less people to impress.

A special birthday memory:
I do not remember exactly which birthday it was. I think about 5th or 6th. I really wanted one of those birthday cakes where the cake is the dress of a barbie doll and you put the doll in the top. I had seen a picture of one that my dad had made when he was younger and so that is what I asked for. Well, when my dad went to make it he had a really hard time. I do not know exactly what was going wrong because I was in bed but I know that he stayed up most of the night working on it and when I woke up it was done and it was beautiful. I was so happy to have that cake for my birthday.

So, here I go into the unknown of 28 and excited to see what is going to happen.

Thankful November

I think this is a good month to think of things that we are thankful for. It is the month of Thanksgiving afterall so it is a good time to concentrate on those things that make our hearts glad.

1. I am thankful for pumpkin scones and coffee on a cold morning with my mom and great-grandma.

2. I am thankful for my birthday, it is nice to have a special day

3. I am thankful for starting my day with a wonderful swim

4. I am thankful for my kids imaginations

5. I am thankful for a warm, cozy house

Birthday Weekend

My birthday is not until the 7th of November but we decided to celebrate it early because that is what worked for us. So this last weekend we went to the beach. My husband, kids and me. We left Saturday morning and took our time driving to the beach. Along the way we would stop and the kids would give me a gift and let me open it. It was such a fun way to spread it out and enjoy each gift. The first that I opened was the movie The Mod Squad. It is the first movie that Levi and I watched together when we first realized that we liked each other. I could not believe that he thought of that and bought it for me. So thoughtful. The next was a book by Real Simple about party planning that I was so excited about. I love getting new ideas for parties and then throwing a party and having everybody enjoy it. Then I opened a present from my son that he picked out and payed for himself. It was some really cute magnents that have Christmas trees on them. He is so thoughtful. Then when we finally reached the beach I opened the last one. It was a card that had a membership card for a local gym in it that I have been wanting to go to for awhile. I was so excited. Not only do I get to go but it is all done for me and all I have to do is walk in and start swimming. That is what I love to do for excersise and they have a great pool. This was a very sweet present. Then we spent a wonderful time at the beach. It was really warm and the kids even went in the water. They built a big sand castle and just played for a long time. Then we went to a hotel and relaxed and just had some nice family time. The next morning had been day light savings time so we were up extra early. So we decided to go into San Fransisco and show the kids around and do a little shopping. Then we headed home and my daughter and I slept almost the whole way home. It was a perfect birthday celebration. I am so thankful for my family but most of all for a husband that cares so much about me and my happiness.

I went to the gym this morning and swam and it was just amazing. I have felt good all day and just having that time to myself is so nice. I am looking forward to going again tomorrow. How did I get so lucky to marry a man like him?

Roller Coaster

Up... We are at the doctor for a routine blood test for the adoption process. We get it done and are on our way. No big deal. I have done it every time I have been pregnant which I thought was interesting that I had to do it again for the adoption.

Down... I get a call while at Costco with the kids. It is the doctor that we had just seen for our physicals. She tells me that my husband needs to be seen tomorrow because his blood tests came back and it looks like he might have diabetes. Not good news. Your blood suger is supposed to be around 75 to 95 or maybe 100. His was 310! So no sleep last night and a very large knot in my stomach all day today. I could hardly concentrate all day. My husband saw the doctor at 10am and they took another blood sample.

Up... My husband comes home from work at almost 4pm and calls the doctor. They call right back and tell us that his new blood test came back at 93. Thank you God!!! He is totally fine and the first test was just a mess up somehow. I am so glad.

I really do feel like I have been on a roller coaster. I felt like we should celebrate but I was so worn out from worrying all day that I just want to go to bed. All I can say is that I have a new found respect for our health and am thankful that the Lord has kept us all well.

Star Light, Star Bright...

I thought that I would share with you the great evening that I just had. My husband has been out of town all week so it has been just me and the kids. We decided to go to Tahoe and stay at the condo that we have here. It has been really nice but I was so tired today. My girl has decided that she does not need naps anymore even though she acts tired and we all know that mama needs a nap. But after I made dinner I decided to take them to the hot tub even though I was exahusted. We got there and it was just getting dark. The clouds were pink and blue and grey and just beautiful. Then it started getting dark enough to see stars so I said the old rhyme "star light, star bright first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Then we all took turns making a wish.
My son, wished that we would all stay a family forever ( broke my heart)
My daughter, wished for a pink dancing dress ( that's my girl)


On a side note. My daughter lives in a pink world. She says she wants things pink that you cannot have in pink like a pumpkin, or a lake tahoe. All she can think about is pink. I might say, I want the chocolate one she will reply, I want the pink one. It just goes on and on all day every day. She has also started this imaginary world that does not know when to stop. She can make anything a toy and she just goes into this other world. We put her in her booster seat and strapped her in so that she would have to stay sitting with us at dinner, a few minutes later her spoons are having a converstation and we do not even exist. This morning she woke up at the crack of dawn so I pulled her into bed with me hoping to get a little more sleep. She started an entire world with mamas and daddies and all kinds of stuff going on. At 6 in the morning! I do love to listen to her play and it is like a little peek into her mind. When my husband was sick the people in her little world were sick alot, now with him out of town, they are gone a lot or on an airplane. It can be frustrating when I am trying to get her atention long enough to get dressed or to eat something but I know that this will be gone too fast and so I am going to enjoy being a little fly on the wall in her world and listening in on her imaginary world.

Pumpkins

We had a great time at the pumpkin patch. I love getting pumpkins. I think that I get just as excited as the kids do. There is this really fun place called Bishop's Pumpkin Farm that we have gone to the last two years. There is so much to do there. There is the petting farm, the train, the corn maze, the hay ride to go out and pick your pumpkins right off of the vines, and so much more. We were so tired when we left there and so dirty. That to me is a sign of a good time. To me picking out our pumpkins is like the true start of the fall season and I get so excited. It has been getting colder here kind of grey. I have been able to burn candels now that it gets darker earlier and the house feels really cozy. This is a wonderful time of year and I am going to enjoy every bit of it.

T.V. Shows

I kind of have this love/hate relationship with the telivision. We do not watch a lot of tv but I am sure we watch more than some people, less than others. We have three shows that we watch on a regular basis. Gilmore Girls, The Office, and The Amazing Race.

Gilmore Girls is my show. I have been watching it forever and I have not missed very many episodes. I love the humor, the love, the realationships and the escape from reality.

The Office: What can I say. This is something that my husband and I look forward to. We laugh, and laugh. It is a half hour that we just sit and enjoy ourselves, together.

The Amazing Race: This one is not as popular so maybe you have not seen it but it is a family favorite. It is on Sunday evenings and we all watch it together. There are teams of two that are racing around the world for a million dollars. There are things they have to do to get their next clue and so on. We each pick a team that we think will win. Last season my son picked the winning team on day one. This season my team is already gone, my husbands team has turned on each other and just not really any fun to watch, my son picked the young guys ( who are doing pretty well and are nice) my daughter picked the young, blond girls ( who are also doing very well and are very nice)

I say all that to say that I think that kids are pretty intuitive. I think some kids more than others but I think they all have it in them more than adults. I wonder what makes that happen. Do we lose that as we get older? Do we stop listening to that little voice or feeling that we have inside? My daughter will pick out a girl from a room full of girls as the " one that she likes" and it will turn out to be the nicest girl there.

So, will it be the young girls or the young guys this time?
I will let you know in the end.

A couple of years ago

My son had an infatuation with "mama cows" at this point in his life. He as a very happy cow and my daughter was his farmer.

We are better

I am happy to report that my husband is much better. After spending another day in the emergency room we went home. Sunday was spent resting and being sick because my parents had the kids so we were able to really rest. Then that night we realized that maybe he was having a bad reaction to the antibiotics. So he stopped taking them that night and by the next morning he was feeling much better. We had a doctors appointment scheduled that day so he went to that and she said that he was having a reaction and that he should throw them away and never take those again. It was a such a good feeling to know why he was still sick and to see him actually improving. I do not know why we did not think of it sooner but now we know. My husband is very sensitive to everything. ( caffein, alcohol, medicine) So now we know to be much more careful about what his is taking and how he is reacting to what he is taking.

So now life goes on....
I love this time of the year. It is my favorite. I like the weather, the food, the holidays, everything about it. We are planning on going to a pumpkin patch on Friday and I think I am just as excited as the kids. My husband is going to be able to come with us and that makes me really happy also. We are having a great time homeschooling and we are going to be studying Christopher Columbus tomorrow.
This weekend we go to our second class for the adoption. After this class we can start meeting with a social worker and then things really start moving along. We are getting really excited.
It is so weird to see yourself in one of your kids. My son has started to do things that I remember doing as a kid. He has a book with him where ever he goes, he likes to be in on all of the conversations, and he loves holidays and doing projects.
My daughter is just a light in our house. She makes us laugh and cares so much. Every night when we put her to bed she wants to pray for our grandma ( the one she is named after) but she is very specific about what she wants to pray for. She wants to pray that grandma gets chocolat. It makes me smile every time she says it.

So, now I am hoping to get our live back to normal. I want to meal plan, and actually cook dinner for my family. I want to go out and do things together. I want to just get back to being us.

I am a pro at the ER

I spent all of yesterday sitting in the emergency room once again with my very sick husband. He has been sick for a week and not seeming to be improving. Then yesterday he seemed worse, very weak, light headed. So, we took him back in. My mom and dad were so nice to take off of work so that they could take the kids. It was such a relief that I did not have to worry about them also. I was kind of freaking out. It just was hitting me that he might be really sick and what if it was something really serious. Anyway, he went in, they did a ton of tests, they said that he was sick but they do not know the exact cause of it, to go home and rest and see a doctor on Monday. Skip to today and he is resting, reading, watching movies, and trying to eat. At first it sounds kind of nice but for my husband he is about to jump out of his skin ( except that he does not have the energy to do that) He is eating wierd things like jello, chicken broth, and rice. I am trying to make sure that he is getting enough to drink and eat and keep him company. All of this is a lot easier to do without two little kids running around. We are enjoying the peace and quiet. I do not know what I would do without my parents. They have been so good to me and caring and generous and the kids are so happy. My son caught a 20in fish that broke his fishing pole and my daughter gave it a great big kiss. Today they are going to some farms that are having a kind of open house. I am sure they are having a blast. Me, I am trying to take advantage of not having them here and getting ready for the week. I am going to clean, get ready for school next week, and get some paper work done. This whole thing has made me appreciate my husband so much more and realize that we are really blessed to have each other. I do not know how long it will take for him to get better but I am praying that I do not forget all that I have learned through this.

How we are getting along

Things here have not changed much. My husband is still sick and having a hard time accepting the fact that he really is sick. He tries to do something but then ends up on the couch in a lot of pain. Me on the other hand, I am tired. Very, very tired. It is hard to do everything all day and not get frustrated that he cannot help. I know that he can't and should not but it is still hard. I just wish I knew what was going on. We have not been able to get any more information from the doctors and so we do not know what is exactly wrong. He is supposed to go to a doctor for a follow up appointment so hopefully we will know something after that.

On a different note I got my hair cut today. It is a lot shorter but I think that I like it. It is going to be much easier to take care of and maybe I will be able to make it look good more often instead of always having it in a pony tail.

We have spent a lot of time at the park lately. The weather has been beautiful and the kids have been loving it.

Home schooling is going good. We just got done trying the five in a row book. I highly recomend it. We got to study all about Jewish things and being a good neighbor, and found out where Poland is and we went to a Jewish deli today. It was a really fun study. I am looking forward to our next one.

We are planning a trip to visit some friends on Sunday until Wednesday. We are all looking forward to it. The kids have been counting down the days. I am hoping that my husband is feeling up to the trip, but if not we will go ahead without him.

It is Friday night and I really like Friday nights. I like the feeling that the weekend is just starting and that I get to look forward to Saturday mornings. I like how slow we can take it on the weekends and that the kids seem to just be happy to hang out. I like making a big breakfast or going out to breakfast. I like getting the house cleaned up and ready for another week. I would have to say that Friday nights and Saturday mornings are my favorite times of the week.

I am going to go to bed now. I have a very full day ahead of me.

P.S. check out my adoption link to find out more details about our adoption process.

The Mystry Sickness

In order to tell this story I have to give a little background. For as long as I can remember every time I get sick a couple of days later my husband gets sick and then he has a new found sympathy for me because now he knows what it really feels like. So I had been sick for a couple of days. Not really a big deal, just a cold or something but I felt pretty bad. Then Sunday morning he wakes up, is totally fine for about an hour and then suddenly he is sick. So, I did what I usually do and complain that he always gets sick after me and that it is not fair that he is sick on the weekend when he can rest blah, blah , blah... So he stays in bed most of the day. I take the kids to this thing at the park ( a children's fair) and then we head home about 3pm. When we get home he tells me that he does not think that he is ok and that he needs to go to the doctor. Now a little more background. My husbad does not go to the doctor unless it is really bad so I knew that something was not right. So we drop the kids off at my friend, Vanessa's, house and go to the urgent care. They find out what is wrong with him and tell us that we have to go to the emergency because they cannot treat him there. At this point I am getting a bit freaked out but trying to keep it together. So, off to the ER we go.

Once we get there it is more paperwork and waiting. I hate emergency rooms. They have always freaked me out. It seems like the most fitlthy, contaminated place. Besides the fact that there is always something really gross that happens while I am there everytime. One time I was waiting in the ER and this guy came in with a nail through his finger. This time it was a coung guy that had a bike accident and his face was all cut up and he was crying and I was just so sad for him. It was an absolute zoo in there. It seemed like everyone there waiting to be seen had brought about 15 extra people with them, kids running all over the place, it was just crazy. Then they call our name.

We go in, they ask a couple of questions and start an I.V. The first thing is that they say he is very dehydrated. So they start some fluids, take some blood for tests, and try to make him comfortable. At this point they are saying that it is probably a virus or food born illness.

I leave after he is comfortable and get the kids, take them home, feed them, and put them to bed. Then my great friend, Vanessa, comes over to stay with the kids while I go back to the hospital. So, I find out that while I was gone they gave him some morphine for the pain and as soon as they gave it to him, he had a horrible reaction to it. His head started hurting even worse and his oxogyn went way down. So, they stopped that and gave him something else. I guess we should have told them that he is very sensitive to everything.

Anyway, when I got there they were talking about giving him a cats scan to rule out the possibility of Crohns Disease. So I started really getting worried. They made him drink this gigantic cup of fluid and then wait an hour and then took him to the cats scan. After that was done I figured I better go home and get some sleep so that I would be able to take care of the kids in the morning. I got to bed about 1am. My daughter woke me up at 7am which was actually an answer to prayer because shw has been known to wake much earlier.

So, about 9am the kids and I walked over to the hospital ( it is only four blocks away) to see (daddy). He was looking a bit better, they still had him hooked up to everything and we still had not heard anything from a doctor about the cats scan or any of the blood tests. So after a visit I take the kids home. It is not really fun to try to hang out at the hospital with little kids. We hung out at home, did some school, cleaned the house, did some laundry, ate lunch, took naps, all while waiting for the doctor to come and tell us what was going on. I would call every hour or so and try to find something out and my husband would say the same thing each time, " I still have not seen a doctor". I was about to go crazy. What if my husband had this horrible disease? What if he was not going to get better? What in the world would I do without him? It was getting pretty bad and all this with the kids and trying to stay positive for them. Finally at about 3pm the doctor came and said that it was not the worst case thing with the disease and that they were now sure that it is a virus that is making his colon really unhappy. They will not know what exactly it is for a couple of days but that the antibiotics that they had him on would take care of it, with time.

I got to finally go and pick him up at 5pm. When we got there, he had taken his IV out himself! For those of you that know him, you are probably not that surprised. He did get in trouble with the nurse when she came in and found out he had done that. He was really ready to come home.

So, now back at home I am very relieved. He is not better but he will be able to get better. I am so thankful. He had a bunch of visitors today and that was really great to see how many people really care about us. He is on a pretty strict diet and he actually asked me to make him some chicken broth tonight. He said that mine was much better then the one at the hospital. What a compliment, I must me an amazing cook. I do not know how long it will take for him to get better but we will just take it one day at a time and I know that I will be very thankful for each and every one of those days.

Today was the day we....

Well, we....

1. Changed from an international adoption to a dometic adoption.

2. Went to get our fingerprints and should have been in and out in 15 minutes but ended up being there for over an hour due to a mix up and the change in our adoption. This with our kids and in a very small office.

3. I got sick today and it is just so hard to be sick and get anything done. I hate being sick

4. Realized that we will be getting a baby in our house sooner than we were thinking and need to do some planning and preparing. It is still awhile off but not as long.

5. Put our daughter in time out at least 6 times (this morning)

6. Watched the season premeire of Gilmore Girls. I really enjoy that show.

7. Need to go to bed because we all need to be heading out the door a little after 8am tomorrow morning and that is a feat that I do not feel up to at this moment. I hope I wake up feeling better.



( I will put more information on my adoption link soon)

Dress-up at Grandma's house

What?

My husband just explained to me that he used to wish that he could use his sleeping time more productively. So instead of having dreams he wanted to figure out things, like solve problems. I already thought this was crazy but he then proceded to tell me that he is able to do this now. He wakes up most mornings with an idea that he worked out in his head, in his sleep. I think he is crazy. If there was ever a time to take a break and relax it would be while you are actually sleeping. I don't know what else to say but that he is one of a kind for sure.

It's a boy!

A beautiful baby was born last night. I was asked to be a doula and the woman had her baby last night. It has been a long journey for her, from starting to go into labor at 32 weeks and being put on bed rest to being induced 10 days late. I got there at 5p.m. and they had started her on pitocin at around 4p.m. She labored really well and her husband was a great support. I was amazed at how well she did. She stayed calm and really just took one contraction at a time. Then she delivered a very healthy 9lbs. 9oz. baby completely naturally! We were all shocked. He is just perfect and the mom and baby are doing well. I am so glad that I got to be a part of such an amazing miracle.

I Did It

I am very proud to say that I had a great two days and I did not get a lot done but just enjoyed myself. Thanks to my wonderful husband I got to go out to breakfast with a friend (for 4 and a half hours), get some shopping done, buy myself a purse, watch a movie in bed, take a bath, read the paper and drink coffee, go to a ladies tea, and now I am getting ready to go out to dinner with some of my family. Am I spoiled or what? I have loved every minute of being alone but I am missing my kids and husband and am looking forward to them coming home.

There were these questions in a magazine I was reading and I thought they were fun so I am going to answer them on here.

1. Life would be simpler if....

I knew that I was always doing the best thing for my kids and family and we never had to say good bye

2. I feel most beautiful....

After being outdoors either riding my bike or hiking or walking or after a good swim

3. The quality I like least about myself is...

Worrying that everyone else is happy and not mad and not just being able to relax

4. Something that no one knows about me is....

That being social makes me tired and I can only do it for a little while at a time without getting really worn out

5. Guilties pleasure?

Reading magazines

6. My favorite possession is...

My house

7. When I was little I wanted to be.....

A mom

8. What surprises me most about my adult life is...

Everything, where I live ( in a city), homeschooling, my husbands job ( land developer), the list could go on and on

9. The big decision I'm currently wrestling with is...

Should I join a gym and swim a few days a week or wait until the kids are older

My motto is....

This to shall pass ( told to me by a friends mom)

Two Wonderful Days

Right now my husband is packing the kids and himself to go to Tahoe with another friend and his kids tomorrow morning. I am very excited. What to do with all of my time. That is the hardest part for me to decide. Do I get a lot done, or just rest the whole time or a mixture of both? That is what I think I will do. I am loving having my son home and doing the whole homeschool thing but I am about to go crazy with the constant talking. He has so many questions and sometimes I think I might go crazy if I do not have a moment to just think a complete thought. I am going out to breakfast tomorrow morning with my wonderful friend Vanessa. I love to go out to breakfast and I am looking forward to catching up with her. Then I am going to go on a hunt for a purse. Then on Saturday I am going to have the whole morning to myself and then a ladies tea in the afternoon. I am not really into the whole ladies tea thing but I want to see the women that are going to be there so I will go. I feel so blessed to have a husband that will take the kids by himself for that long and that my kids are old enough to go without me. Maybe I will be able to have a complete thought this weekend and be able to write about something that is actually interesting.

Life Right Now

Ever feel like you are playing catch up all day long? There is so much to do and not enough time or energy. On the other hand does it really matter if I put all the clean clothes away today or tomorrow. Will anyone suffer if I don't pick up the toys today and just wait until tomorrow? When do I pass the line of being lazy and just trying to enjoy life? These questions go around in my head a lot these days.

I am not a person that likes to have a " right way" to do everything. Some weeks it works to do a meal plan and make dinner every night, other weeks we eat take out almost every night. There are times when I like to have my days planned and know what to expet. Other times I like to wake up and say " let's go to the beach and have a picnic".

We had a good weekend. We went on a couple of bike rides, we went out with friends and no kids one night. My dad came and went to church with us where we celebrated the churches one year anniversary. It was exciting to see how much the church had grown in the year that we have been there. I did a ton of laundry and we ended the weekend by riding our bikes to one of our families favorite places The Big Spoon. It is this self serve frozen yogurt place that has more toppings than you could dream of and it is all self serve so you can pick any mixture that you want and pile it on. The kids love it. I love it. We left very happy.

Today we continued on with our homeschooling and it is going well. We even did two math lessons because my son was so into it. My daughter is pretty much potty trained and that is a nice feeling. She is also a big handful and a very funny girl. She keeps us laughing all day long.

We start community Bible study this week and I am looking forward to the study of Acts. I think I will learn a lot and make some new friends.

We are also going to go visit my great-grandma tomorrow who is not in very good health. She is such an important person in our family and it is so sad to watch her body start to give out. I will write a whole post on her soon because there is so much to say.

So, now I am going to go and decided if I am going to put all those clothes away today or tomorrow?

Those Hiking Dads

These are pictures from the latest dadshike. They did an urban hike this time all around the city. If you did not go this time and want to go next time check out the web site on my links.

Firsts

It has been a very busy week. We had our first day of school on Tuesday and it went well. I have some learning to do but we had a good first day. The kids were bursting at the seams on the first day. I like the program a lot and it seems to keep their attention pretty good.
Tuesday was also our first soup night. I was so excited getting ready and then a little nervous wondering if anyone would come. As it turns out we had about 12 adults and a handful of kids. They were people that we know from all different places and I was surprised at how well everyone got along and it just all went really good. We had plenty of food and the kids had a great time playing with their friends. My daughter said " let's do that again". She will be happy to discover that this will be an on going thing.
The last fist for Tuesday was that it was the first full day of my daughter being in underwear for the whole day without any accidents. I am so happy. It looks like we may be able to have her out of diapers before we get the next one.






Us in our new " school room" it is also the room that we just got done painting.

I Love Three Day Weekends

We have been having a great weekend. It is the last holiday before school starts and summer goes away. We stayed home considering that we had been gone for so long but we have had a very productive and restful weekend. We painted what is going to be the "school room", I got it all organized, we cleaned the house, we did other ramdom projects around the house, moved my daugther to a " big bed", and today we went to an art thing in the park and later after naps we are off to a BBQ. Overall we have just had a good time as a family and getting things in order to start our new adventure of homeschooling. The kids are so excited they can hardly stand it. I feel prepared now and things are in order so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the day. Tomarrow night is also our first " soup night" and we are looking forward to seeing how it goes. I hope people come, eat, and have a good time. So, for the rest of this day I am going to enjoy the tail end of our three day weekend which I think is one of my favorite things. It is like that extra added bonus that you were not expecting.

What is really important?

I feel like I am always flip flopping on my feelings. One day I am so excited I can hardly stand it then the next I have a day like today. There are a few factors that have made for a pretty horrible day.

1. I went to a concert last night and stayed up way to late and woke up way to early ( I do not do well on little sleep)

2. I decided to do something about those last 10lbs that I have been trying to get rid of ( I do not do well on little food)

3. We just got back from vacation and although that was wonderful it is taking me forever to get things back in order ( I feel
like I have been grocery shopping for days just to restock the fridge)

4. On the one day that I really needed my daughter to take a nap so that I could also she decided that she just was not going to
do that today ( of all the days to choose)

5. I am PMSing to just top everything off ( just for good measure)


I keep having this battle in my head. On the one side is the side that says it is a good idea to focus on myself some and to do the things that I want to do right now. Like lose some weight and exercise. On the other side is the sanity of my family. The problem is that I do not really "want" to do either of those things so when I decide that I am going to I get really grouchy. Along with the lack of sleep and the hormones. But I have done this so many times. I decide this is the day! This is the time and I set out to do it. Then after one day of it I see the results. It is an unhappy house with kids that are driving me crazy when they do not usually and for no aparent reason. I see a house that is a disaster because I have no energy to do anything because of the lack of food. ( now do not think that I am starving myself. I always use the weight watchers program and it works really well and is very balanced) but like I said I do not do very well when I am depriving myself or maybe it is just mental. I see a husband that is really trying to support me but is totally miserable because of all of the above. Then I take a minute to look around me and I think to myself. Is it really worth it? It is not like I am obese to the extent that I am worried about my health. It is my own vein thinking. It is me trying to be what I was before I had kids. And when I realize that, I see that I do not want to be who I was before because I like who I am now. I like being a mother and a wife. I like being a laid back friend, someone who can roll with the punches of life.

I have a lot on my plate right now. I have two little kids who need me a lot. I have a husband that needs to be supported and loved. I am getting ready to take on the roll of teacher. I am in the process of adopting a new baby into our famiily. I have food to make, a house to clean, and a need to squeeze in some reading time ( for my sanity). That is what I want to concentrate on right now. Why do I keep getting distracted? I could go on and on about our society and why that is why it is hard to be a "normal woman" but I think that I need to learn to be satisfied in myself and to let go of a standard that is just to high. So, tomarrow is another day and another chance to see what a wonderful life I have. I am going to spend the day loving my family, cleaning a bit more, making a dinner that we can all sit down and enjoy together , and of course read a bit.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

Today is our last day of vacation. It has been wonderful. It has also been longer than we were expecting. You know it has been a good vacation when you and the kids are ready to go home. I am always so happy after a vacation because I am ready to cook again and it feels like a fresh new start. I end up with so many ideas that I want to do and I am able to get a new perpective on life. We decide what we want to continue doing and what we want to not do anymore. We get a new outlook on what is important in our lives and what we should live without.
I am also going back to beautiful new floors that some very wonderful and hard working guys have been working on for us. I am so very thankful. They will be done now in time for our soup night and it is also in the room that will become our homeschool room so that makes me so happy. I am looking forward to going home and getting the room all set up for our first day of school.
That is the other thing that I am really excited about. I have been really working on figuring out what program to do with my boy and non of them were very exciting. Then I read this blog and the lady homeschools her two kids and uses a program called Charlotte Mason and it is perfect! I then found a web site that layed it all out for me and told me what books to order and it even has a sample schedule that you can follow if you want. So I spent a lot of time yesterday ordering all that I will need to start school and now we are just waiting for it to be delivered.
My husband had to go to work today but we are finishing out our last day. My mom is coming up and I think we are going to go swimming. My girl is so tired that I do not know how long we will last but then we will head home. Tahoe has been very good to us and I will miss waking up to the beautiful mountains right outside. But home is sweet and I am all charged up to get things in order. I just hope the feeling lasts long enough to get stuff done.

This ones for Jed

We were swimming in the lake and I saw this snake. The kids were so excited and wanted to hold it. I was a bit freaked out that it was in the water that I was swimming in. My girl even said that the snake was "licking her"

More Tahoe

We have been

*hiking
*swimming
*biking
*and just hanging out in the condo


We are having such a great time. We found a beautiful beach all to ourselves that we never wanted to leave. We went on a bike ride to a playground where the kids had a good time playing hide and seek. Levi took the kids hiking one morning and they had a wonderful time. My parents took the kids for a night and Levi and I had some good alone time. We did a really hard hike and made it to the top of this big mountain. It really felt good to accomplish a feat like that. Overall we have just had some really good quality family time.

Today was a weird day. I woke up to the phone ringing and it was the girl that I am going to be a doula for. She said that her water had broken and they were on their way to the hospital. So, I got ready really fast and headed to the hospital. I made it there just a bit after them and they were monitoring her. It ended up that they sent her home because they did not think her water really broke or just did a little and her contractions were not very hard or consistent. So I hung around for awhile to see if something would happen. I had lunch with a friend, checked on our house and stuff, and then talked to her. She said nothing was different and that I should go ahead and come back to Tahoe, so that is what I did. We are planning on staying here through the weekend while some really great guys work on our floors at home. I am so excited about that! So, as long as I do not get another call from her we are going to finish out our wonderful vacation. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

Happenings

We have a couple of things going on that I wanted to put the word out there about.

1. My husband started a thing called www.dadshike.com that is for dads and their kids. The first Saturday of every month they go on a hike. He posts on the web site where they will be meeting and then whoever wants to go just shows up. They usually bring a lunch and stop and eat along the way. This will be the fifth month and they are really loving it. He got an article written about him in a local magazine called Kid Around Town and he is hoping for it to really take off and grow. Check it out in my links.

2. We are starting a local soup night. Every other tuesday night at 5:30pm starting September 5th at our house. We are going to have soup and bread and enjoy dinner together. Kids and all. We want it to be a time of fellowship with friends and we will see where it leads.

Family Vacation

We are up at Tahoe right now on the first solo family vacation in a very long time. It was much needed. I felt like I had lost control with my kids. It was not their fault but we were just not connected like we should be. So, a trip to the mountains, by ourselves was just what we needed. They are in the hot tub with their dad right now so I am enjoying a little time to myself. It is always so hard to decided what to do with that time. I have so many things on my list. But I decided that sitting out on the porch, listening to a live DJ and updating my blog was a good choice. I love it up here at Squaw Valley. There is always something different going on. Sometimes there is a live band, sometimes a DJ we have enjoyed miniture golf, a oversized game of checkers, little kids pools and later this week there will be a film festival. At the same time it is very restful and you can go in your room and pretend like there is nothing going on and totally relax. I hope that we are building memorable times with our kids and that they will benifit from being away with just us and no other interuptions. When Levi and I first talked about buying this condo up here I was really not sure about it. I was worried that maybe we would not want to come here all of the time because we are the kind of people that really like to try different things and I thought we would just feel tied down. I also worried that we would look like snobs and that is the last thing I want. He wanted it for us, for the people who work for him, and to be able to bless others by letting them come here. He felt really good about it and so I went with it. Now about 6 months later I am so glad that we did. We have been totally blessed by being able to come here but so have so many other people. My family has used it, his family, people from other countries and friends that work very hard and just need a rest. I am so happy that the Lord is willing to use us in this way. We have a guest book here at the condo and I love reading it when we come here and see just how many people were able to get away, rest, and enjoy God's creation. He is a good God that loves all of us and uses all of us in so many different ways.

My Kids

It is the weirdest thing. When I have the kids with me all of the time I just wish for time to do stuff by myself. Then the past two days I have been able to do just that and all I can think about is how much I miss my kids. They are at my parents house and they will be there until tomorrow morning. Levi left this morning at 6am and will not be back until tonight so I have had all day to myself. I cannot lie, it has been very nice. I have gotten a lot done, had a lot of me time, and a lot of much needed quite. On the other hand I really miss those kids. It makes me realize that they really are what my life is about and what gives my life meaning. I am so glad to have them and I will be very glad to get them back tomorrow. But for now they are totally happy and well cared for ( probably too well cared for) and I have a few more hours until Levi gets back so I am going to enjoy the peace and quite while it lasts.

Life

It has been a good week. We have gotten back into the swing of things. We had some friends stay the weekend with us and that was a lot of fun. We have decided to homeschool for sure this year and we have officially moved on to the next step of our adoption. It is the part where we have to just gather together a lot of paperwork so that is what we are working on right now. I feel good about the decisions we have made lately and God has really given me and my husband peace with what we are doing. It feels like a lot of changes at once but I think that it is all for a reason.

My parents are taking the kids tonight and tomarrow and my husband and I are really looking forward to some time together. It is weird because we wait for this to happen and then we always go totally blank when it comes to figuring out what to do. I guess it does not really matter what we do as long as we are togther.

We are enjoying our last bit of summer and I am going to be spending this time getting ready to homeschool and figuring out exactly how I am going to do it. I pray that the Lord gives me direction and that I can figure it all out. It is a new adventure and I am excited to see what happens.

One of my favorite things right now is listening to my girl sing. She puts her whole self into it and means it with her whole heart. She is a joy to have in this family.

This is scattered and random but that is kind of what my life is like.

Grace

I figure that if I talk about this book enough everybody will decide to read it. It is the one called Grace Based Parenting and I am getting so much out of it. It is really easy to read and you just learn so much. This morning I was reading about how we are not supposed to shield our kids from everything and make it so that they live in a "safe Chrisitan environment" and never let them learn from things in this world. He is saying that we need to teach them to trust in God in those situations and to learn how to do that. He was also saying that if he shild them and try to keep everything from them and act like the world is a really scary place we are teaching them that God cannot handle it and that He is not to be trusted. I thought it was really profound. He was also saying that we need to accept that our kids are fragile, that the world is a sinful place, that Saten is out to ruin us but that God had the first word and He will have the last word. He is mighty and our kids need to know that.

Levi and I are also really enjoying this show that we discovered on the itunes thing where we can buy episodes and watch them on the computer. It is called 30 days and it is by the guy that did the show Super size me. He takes topics and then has a person go and live in that situation for 30 days to see what it is really like. As an example. There was a minuteman (the guys that help watch the borders between us and Mexico and report anyone that they see coming across) and they had him go and stay with a family in East L.A. who are here illegally. It was a family of 7 living in less than 500 sq. ft. and he lived with them for 30 days. It was so interesting. To watch his feelings and opionions change when his world view was opened up and broadened. It made me realize how important it is for us and our kids to have a real world view and not just what is going on here in America.

My project right now is that it looks like we will not be able to get my son in the school that we want to this year so I think I will be homeschooling him this year. I am doing a lot of research and figuring out how I want to do it. We will see what we will do after I do some more looking around and see what fits our family the best.

It's Nice To Be Home

Well, we made it home safe and sound. It was a long day of traveling but we made it all ok.

We left at 10am and drove for about 4 hours
Got to the airport and our plane left at 3:30
We were supposed to have a 2 hour lay over and it turned into a 3 hour one
Then second flight we sat on the runway for a really long time
Finally landed in Sacramento at about 10pm
After getting our luggage and home it was after 11pm before us and the kids were in bed.

The kids did really well through the whole thing. Not really any break downs but they were pretty tired today.

After we got in the car we noticed a horrible smell and discovered that one of the car seats and my bag had some kind of really nasty liquid on them. I do not know what it was but that was not a very nice surprise. We cleaned it all up today and everything is just fine.

I thought I would share some pictures from our trip

We went to a waterslide park that was really great for the kids. We all had a really good time.






We spent one day at the Glacier National Park. Look at how clear that water is! It was the most beautiful lake any of us had ever seen. We were not prepared to swim but all of my family decided that the water was just to nice to not swim so they striped down to their underwear and jumped in. Just as I was getting up the guts to join them it got pretty windy and was not warm enough any more. O well maybe next time. We also got to see a mama bear and her two cubs. That was very cool. We went on a short hike that was also beautiful. We had a great time as a family and being outside.





On our last day there we went to Whitefish lake and spent the day on the beach and swimming. The kids had a ball and as you all know by now I love to swim so we were all happy. The weather was perfect in Montana and we took full advantage of it and spent most of our time outside.




When we were not spending our time outside in the water and sun we were at the house playing many, many different games. Dress up was one and building forts was as a big one. The kids got along really well and built some life time memories with their cusins. My girl kept calling this cusin her friend and after awhile she told me she was her sister. My son also had a grand time building things, creating things, and just acting like any kid should.

I am glad to be back but I am also glad we went. It is so important for the kids to make these memories. I have such great ones from when I was little and I want them to have that also. There is nothing quite like a cusin.

Montana

We have been on vacation for the last few days visiting my husbands sister and her family. We are having a great time. The kids are playing really good and we have done a lot of things. We went to a water slide park that was really fun. Both of the kids went down the slides and just had a great time. Yesterday we went to Glacier National Park and swam in a beautiful lake and went on a short hike. We also saw a mama bear and her two cubs and a few different deer. Today we went to an art show and now the kids are playing in the back yard on a slip and slide. It has been good so far. It is amazing how much easier it is to travel as the kids get older. This is the easiest so far. Well, I don't want to take to much time right now but I will post some pictures when we get home.

THE NEWS

We have some big news to share. Lately we feel like God is showing us that our family is not done growing. We had both felt like maybe we were done and that two kids was enough. But then we had a change of heart. I think God changed our hearts. My husband and I started talking about it and just could not get over the feeling that we were not done growing as a family. Then as we talked about it more we discovered that neither one of us felt like we wanted to have another baby naturally, ( as in birthing a baby). So we started talking about adoption and what that could mean for our family. As we talked, prayed, and researched we felt more and more like it was right for us.

( A little background) I have wanted to adopt before I even had kids. Actually before I was even married. I used to go to an orphanage in Mexico for the summers when I was in high school. Even then I would think about how neat it would be to adopt and take care of one of those wonderful children. Then I went to India a year after I graduated from high school. While we were there we went to this village to play with the kids and just kind of hang out. This girl that was about 8 or 9 years old came up to me with what I think was her sister and asked me to take the baby with me. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby home to my home. Even now it makes me so sad. I really, really wanted to take that baby. I was not even married or ready to have kids but I just wanted to take care of her. So, ever since then I have really wanted to adopt. I kind of feel like it is a calling that God has put on my life.

Back to the story.
God then blessed me with a huband that is totally open to adoption. He blessed me with two of my own wonderful kids and I am so glad that I got to experience carrying my kids in my belly and feeding them and having a newborn. I would not trade any of that for the world. But now I feel ready to accept another child into our family another way.

We have just sent in our application to the agency and we have decided on Guatemala. My husband and I love the Latin American culture and we as a family have been working on learning more spanish. We felt like it was a culture that we could intergrate into our family and that is important to us. We do not know how old the child will be. It could be anywhere from 6months old to about a year. It is a pretty long process and we have just barley started. We have talked to our son about it and he is excited about it. He is actually the one that was saying that we needed more kids in our family. He said to me the other night " I don't care how many kids we have or how old they are or if they are a boy or girl" I felt like that was such a blessing from God that he would be so open to whatever happens.

So, I will update on here whenever things change and as we progess in the process. It may be a long and emotional journey so I think it will be good for me to share what we are going through. The Lord is so good and He will make it all happen in His timing.

God is good

I need to give an update after that last depressing entry. I am feeling much better and I think it was just a little break down but God still cares about those things. This morning my friend, Vanessa came by with muffins in the morning and we had coffee and muffins and a little bit of conversation. Then I took my daughter to this singing time at the library and joined another friend there. The kids played and sang and then they invited us over for lunch. It just made my day. I realized that I do have friends and that it is normal to somedays feel lonely but I guess I just needed a reminder. I then went to this skin lady for an appointment that I had today and she put this mask/peel on me that made my face orange for 6 hours. I am talking bright orange. Let me just tell you that my kids had a good laugh when I got home looking like that. So, now I am off to bed feeling much better and ready to face another day. I am always amazed at how much God cares about all of our little things. What a good God we serve.

Only the Lonely

I am usually a pretty upbeat person. It takes a lot to get me down. It is just in my nature to let things rool off my back. I don't get worked up or sad very often. Movies make my husband cry more than me. I am just not much of a cryer. It is not that I do not care about stuff, it just has to get pretty bad for me to actually cry. I usually get mad before I get sad.

Is it possible to be lonely when you have friends? I have a lot of friends and I have my kids and my husband but lately I have been feeling very lonely. I need a certain amount of social interaction and it seems like it has been really hard to get that lately. It is not that I have not tried. About every other day I call someone or two to see if they want to come over or go somewhere with the kids or something, ANYTHING. I have always wanted to be one those houses where friends stopped by to say hi, have a cup of coffee, talk a little and then go on our way. No big set up, no planning, just a little conversation and a little contact with another adult. The other day one girl did do this and it made me very happy. I hope that it happens again.

I have thought about doing a regular play date weekly but I feel like that is so planned and something that people feel like they have to go to because they said yes once and now they are stuck. I guess I want it to be more spontaneous than that. But it also seems like moms are not home much anymore. If you do get the guts to stop by they will most likely be out. Not that I am not out a lot but that is because I can only stay at home alone with my kids for so long. They want to play with other kids sometimes and I need to have a little interaction, even if it is just with the coffee shop worker or something.

This seems so petty and not like a big deal in the whole picture but it has me really down. So, down that I actually cried. I just got to wondering. Is it something with me that people are not comfortable being around me, do they not feel comfortable in my house, or is it just that everyone I know already has their " friends" and does not need anymore?

How do you get this type of friendship? I do not feel comfortable just stopping by most peoples houses because it does not seem like everyone likes that and unless they say that they do it is kind of intrusive. Devon's house is the exception. I always feel like it is just fine if I stop by there. Thanks, Devon. I get tired of having to plan a party in order to have people at my house. I actually had a friendship party here after we moved so that everyone would know where we live and maybe stop by in the future. Nothing came of that. I am one of those people that can talk to someone in the afternoon and invite them over for dinner that night. I like it like that.

So, this is a bit rambling and I am not writing this to get friends or anything. I am just wondering if I am the only one that deals with this or if maybe it is just something with having little kids. The heat is also giving me cabin fever because it is just too hot to go outside. I am going to take my daughter to the public pool right now, maybe I will be able to talk to one of the moms there and get my social fix.

I do not know how many more times I can stand to be turned down, not called, or just ignored. I know I am being a little dramatic. This to will pass.

Follow Up

Well, my son came home yesterday with a big smile on his face. He had made some friends and felt much more comfortable. He actually told me that he did not need me to stay with him anymore. It makes me happy for him but kind of sad that I am not needed. This week is a circus theme and at the end of the week they are all going to put on a circus that the parents get to go to.

On the other side my 2 year old daughter said that she is big enough to go to school. It is sad when I tell her that she has to be bigger and she says, " I am bigger" in her little voice. She is just in love with her brother and is kind of sad that he is gone during the day. She points to him and says " my brother" It is just to sweet.

We are still really hot here so we spend a lot of the day in the house. It is just to hot to be outside unless you are in the water. We are going to Montana next week and I am looking forward to a little cooler weather.

My brain is kind of fried from to much sun. I need to cut this short.

Summer Camp

Today was my sons first day of summer camp. We signed him up for a week of it at the school that we are trying to get him into. We are hoping to hear soon if he will be able to go there next year or not. I thought that if he does the summer camp would be a good way to transition into the school, he could meet some kids, and he would be more familiar with the setting.

So, this morning we took him and he wanted me to wait for awhile until he felt comfortable. He got a little teary eyed a couple of times when he was not sure what was going on but he always pulled himself together and pressed on. I watched while he got a partner and started the task that the teacher asked them to do. At first he was not sure and I could tell he was a bit stressed. Then he started getting more comfortable and was smiling and laughing. It made me so happy. I know how hard it is to go into a situation where you do not know anybody and try to make it on your own. He did really well. After about 15 min. I asked him if it was ok for me to leave. He said yes with a big smile on his face.

It is almost time to pick him up and I am looking forward to hear how his day went. My little boy is really growing up.

THIS IS RANCH DRESSING

The Mother of All Iced Teas

I love iced tea. When I was in high school we went to this place called Taco Tree. It has the best nachos and what we called the mother of all iced teas because it is a huge cup. Some of my best memories are going there with friends and then when I met my husband I took him there. It is the little test to see if he would like it or not. Good thing he loves it as much as me. Now my kids love it also. It feels good to know that I am passing down the love of Taco Tree.

It has been really hot all week and they say it is not going to get better any time soon. The best thing on a hot day to me is to sit inside with the a/c on, watch a good movie and drink lots and lots of iced tea. Now that I have kids it seems to be a lot harder to do all that but I at least still can have the iced tea.

This summer has been really crazy. It seems like there is just always a lot going on. My son has been taking swimming lessons and he is really swimming now. I cannot believe it! Swimming is one of my favorite things to do so I am so happy that he will be able to be confident in the water. That is one of my main goals as a mother is to have kids that love the water and are comfortable in the water.

With July wrapping up here soon we are all looking forward to August. The first week we are going to go to Montana to visit my husbands sister and her husband and three kids. That is going to be a lot of fun. We will come back for about a week and a half and then we are going to go up to Tahoe for a week. I am really looking forward to some family time and enjoying the last of summer before we get back to school and the daily life stuff.



On a side note:

How did we end up with two of the loudest kids in the world? They think that they need to literally yell at all times to be heard.

Why must my daughter do everything by herself? That takes a lot of patience.

Why does my son have to give me the play by play of everything he has ever seen in his entire life? I kind of zone out and make the right sounds so that he thinks that I am listening but I can only listen to the " funny thing that happened on Tom and Jerry " so many times before I go crazy

Why is it that even when they are making me feel like I just might loose my mind that they melt my heart by that one little look or kiss or hug and I am ready to do it all over again the next day?

I think this is really great

www.shapeofamother.blogspot.com

The King and Queen